Seven Days a Week
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Or how seven days in Hawaï can change some perspectives. WK fic.  Thank you Gee Dee for the review! I'm glad you liked it...
1. Sunday Evening End of the First Week

**Sunday**

After seven days there, she had grown accustomed to the mere detail. How the wind blew through her hair while the warmth of the sand seemed to embrace her feet under every step. There was a scent in the air as well, heading to her head at the end of the day when the sun vanished in the ocean in a quiet motion. It was a bewitching fragrance, the sweetness of some exotic flower floating all around that the days had carried on until it had become a reference; an element supposed to guide her and reassure her choices at some point.

Taking a decision. Accepting the idea that a single second could make a life tip over irremediably and you would be left there with whatever you would have sowed. And for what, to be honest, except a few whims that would have looked like once impossible dreams?

But she didn't look backwards this time and took the path that led to the beach. The breeze was singing through the palm trees while the waves crashing a few feet away made echo to the vague sound of the traffic on the other side of the hotel, behind the building. She passed the swimming-pool, her eyes stopping on the corner where a false cascade built a veil of water. Had it all started there or it had always meant to happen, way before they found themselves trapped behind the cascade?

Not letting her wonders invade her mind and eventually spread doubts over her heart, she abandoned the place and kept on walking towards the beach. She hadn't bothered to take her shoes this time, not caring that much about the gazes that people would eventually throw at her if she crossed them on her way to what looked more and more like an evidence.

As she left behind the last palm tree to face the ocean, the breeze suddenly turned into a strong wind that made her hair dance in front of her face an odd waltz a bit feverishly. She pushed a strand behind her ear, blinking as the last shades of pink got swallowed by the glimmering waters. Seven days before she had hated this place, feeling trapped under an unbearable sun and the suffocating gates of the hotel resort. Now she could barely imagine to pack and leave back for New York. It seemed too far, too cold and too realistic perhaps.

She plunged her feet in the sand and closed her eyes, took a deep breath. The contact was warm against her skin, reassuring somehow.

"Good evening, Mrs. Walker..."

The voice made her jump but as she opened her eyes and stared at the receptionist, she managed a very controlled smile as if she hadn't been surprised, hadn't been taken aback by the employee's presence on the beach by night only a few feet away from what would probably lock herself into a demise.

"Good evening..."

"Do you need anything special?"

"No thank you, I am fine."

The woman didn't insist and went away towards the hotel, leaving her alone on the beach. Many years later if she would have to think about that evening, she would remember this moment as the only one when she let doubts invade her mind, when she almost turned around then headed back to her suite in a quiet and shameful motion. She might have never liked cowardice, it was all she had known until now. But something pushed her to keep on walking and so she did.

He had sat down on the sand, under the palm tree; their palm tree as she liked to think every night when falling asleep. Instantly her heart began to beat faster as a wave of heat rushed up her cheeks. She could not stand those moments, the ones supposed to determine so many things. What if she was going wrong and would pay the price of her mistake later, when completely off guard? She never made the first step, never accepted such a deal with an obvious dark end. Yet still, there she was only a few feet away from him.

He must have noticed her shadow on the sand because all of a sudden, he turned his face around to look at her. He seemed dubious, not very sure if her presence was only a trick of his mind or the bare reality he had kept on asking all along.

Or the end of your fantasy when you realize that once in your hands, the object of your lust has lost its sparkling light.

She made a step backwards, swallowed hard then looked at her feet a bit disarmed. What if he had only been joking all this time? And she hadn't understood, had mistaken his words and was now making a real fool of herself. But then her eyes caught up the bangle on her wrist, images of the past week flying back to her mind with a dizzying strength. It couldn't have been lies.

Her wedding band slid off her finger as she made the final steps to him. Falling in the palm of her hand, she tightened her grip on the ring as he stood up to face her. The night had fallen now over the beach, the golden lights of the hotel slowly caressing the sand in a soft motion.

She let go of the band as she tasted the salt of his lips and abandoned herself to the long awaited kiss. A light breeze made the sand fly in the air, covering thus the wedding ring.

Seven days a week to rely on him, to learn by his side, understand a couple of basic yet essential things like the fragility of life and how she didn't have that much of a hold over her own heart. Vulnerability had taken possession of her but she couldn't panic anymore. Because she was with him.

They broke apart but her lips kept on brushing his and locking her eyes with his brown ones, Karen settled down the rest of her life.

"I love you, Will."

Seven days a week and there she was, standing unexpectedly in his arms.


	2. Monday Morning First Week

**A Week Before**

**Monday 1**

They should have stayed in Manhattan. As she passed the door of the hotel suite, Karen knew that they shouldn't have packed and left so quickly. The days would seem too long there if not just endless while the limited geographical space emphasized a sentiment of suffocation, of being trapped. Then there was the sun that her pale complexion wouldn't bear, this constant heat that stuck to you from the first hours of the morning to the moment you went to bed.

One week. In other circumstances, she would have complained about the lack of time she had ahead of her to resume her schedule but the journey changed it all _ unless it was the exotic landscape that kept on reminding her every time that she was far from home _ and slowed everything down to the point of very tough regrets and the realization they might have been wrong at the end.

She did it for Stanley.

Because she still loved him in spite of all and in an attempt to turn the page over a few difficult months in their couple she had accepted his request to celebrate their wedding anniversary in Hawaii.

"For a change", he had said. But his voice had betrayed a lot more, starting with this heavy monotony that weighed so much on them. Following established rules of the socialite world she finally belonged to, she had been in charge of the organization and somehow it had seemed right to leave a bit earlier in order to prepare everything there. And if she had counted on Jack to accompany her, she hadn't really minded to see Will arrive at the airport instead mumbling that their friend would only able to be there with the rest of the guests; with Grace. An audition, apparently. She hadn't believed it but let go anyway because she couldn't be mad at him for not wanting to spend so much time with her, so far from everything.

It only happened when the plane landed in Honolulu and she saw the palm trees outside, the tourist vans waiting for people to step in. It had pressed on her throat like a novice's mistake, the kind nobody will ever repeat twice in a life for whatever reason. That was why she had remained quiet all the way to the hotel, staring blankly by the window the Pacific Ocean and hundreds of strangers in swimming suits. It was always the same, they were looking for some sun as if the heat would erase their daily problems. It was sad to witness their innocence, their so-called luck to be so far from the rest of the world when within a week, they would be back to the grayness of their existences.

_Non smoking here_

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, she threw away the flier and grabbed a cigarette then sat down on a sofa oriented towards the French windows that overlooked the ocean. The view was classic if not some major _faux-pas __ some sort of _cliché _she didn't like _ and the truth was that she was surprised that Stanley had wanted that. It didn't sound like him at all.

The phone of the suite suddenly rang, making her jump in surprise. She took the call, assuming it came from her husband or Jack.

"Have you unpacked yet? I was thinking about going for a walk around the hotel."

Her eyes stopped on her suitcases, wide opened at the foot of her bed but still untouched. She had only taken out of it a straw hat and a pair of sunglasses.

"Not really... Listen, go for your walk and give me an hour or so. I should be done by then, honey."

He didn't insist. As a matter of fact, Will never did which only proved how politically correct he tried to be. She didn't like it. He might have been abrupt sometimes but she still preferred his honesty over this horrible hypocrisy that tended to remind her of way too many people she had met, got to know. Some had even been part of her friends until she had understood their game. But it hadn't hurt because she did not let them this chance. Or at least pretended to.

Carefully avoiding the pile of clothes waiting for being unpacked and hung in the closet, she headed to the bathroom for a shower. She felt tired, a bit dizzy as well. She had drunk too much during the flight. Actually, she was drinking too much lately. Stanley didn't like it, reproaching her penchant for alcohol very often yet with resignation as if he had stopped believing in her for a very long time.

What had happened to them? All of a sudden they had found themselves barely talking to each other in the immensity of their mansion, not even sharing the same bed. Something had flown away but nobody had tried to catch it back before it turned out to be too late and there they were now: disarmed and a bit pointless.

The sun burnt her feet as she stepped out on the terrace of the hotel suite yet refreshed by the shower. A water drop slid down along her her nape _ coming to die in the depths of her spine _ and she focused on the sensation as her eyes observed the paths leading to the beach below. The world looked so small from the heights of the sky. Extremely fragile, too far.

A knock on the door took her out from her daydreams. Lightly enough, she went to open to Will. Some travel book in hand, he was standing there in the hallway _ sunglasses on _ and a smile on his lips. He looked genuinely happy and for a few seconds, she wished she had been him.


	3. Monday Evening First Week

**Monday Evening, First Week**

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

The ocean had plunged into a monochrome of orange for quite a while and the waves seemed to wash away the sun somewhere far, very far. If the day had passed by rather quickly, the evening was bringing up a whole different perspective and everything sounded slow, almost on the verge to stop. It stirred up a sentiment of anxiety deep inside of her, something she couldn't really explain but that yet weighed a lot on her chest and made her feel nauseous.

"Excuse me?"

Obviously Will hadn't expected such a question from her part. Not that he was to blame, after all she had thrown it just like that in the middle of the conversation; between the starters and the entrees. The terrace was full of couples, the tables close to each other. Perhaps someone had overheard her laconic question.

A bit uncomfortable, Karen moved on her chair and shrugged in a vague gesture to point out the place.

"Well, look at this beach and the hotel... It is supposed to be romantic, to be an island you fall in love with instantly as soon as you land here. People come to Hawaii to celebrate their love, don't they? And if they choose this island over any other one, there is a reason to it. They find here some reflection of their feelings."

She took a sip of her white wine and carefully avoided her friend's gaze. The question owned a very intimate shade she didn't know how to deal with properly and it made her feel ashamed somehow, not at ease. Yet she wondered why she had asked it in the first place then.

"No, I don't believe in it at all."

Within a second the situation turned upside down and she looked at Will a bit astonished, confused to say the least. From the painting she had composed of him through the years, romanticism had always been an aspect that had seemed to go along the lines of his past sentimental life. Her question had been very rhetorical and yet his reply surprised her a lot. Just like the tone he had used, a very confident one.

"How come?"

"I don't know, it takes time to fall for someone... To realize one day that you wouldn't be able to go on without this person and all of a sudden, she or he happens to be this special one you have been waiting for, for so long sometimes. It can't occur within seconds."

His explanation let her speechless and completely disarmed, she found no other answer than to take a bite of her fish, still pondering his state of mind quietly. Her reaction stirred up Will's curiosity whom smiled, amused. Perhaps he would have burst out laughing too if he hadn't taken a sip of his wine but the drink stifled it all and turned out to be an excellent way to hide his delight.

"Why, do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think that Hawaii could make you fall head over heels for someone in spite of your whole life?"

She could have shrugged away his question, making fun of him or simply heading the conversation to a complete different topic but for some reason she decided to be honest; as if at this exact moment, it was paramount, vital. The breeze came to caress her nape and she looked on her side at the ocean a few feet away down the beach. The light was golden now as the sun had almost completely disappeared. Palm trees were slowly balancing in the evening wind and a languishing melody was playing in the background somewhere behind the rows of small tables.

"I suppose so..."

She had spent the whole day complaining about the island, from the high temperatures to the crowd of tourists that had invaded the hotel resort. But at night, the perspectives were different and all the bad aspects seemed to vanish in the darkness, softened by another light. She might still feel trapped there but at least the night in Hawaii had the credits to show another face where its actual beauty lay.

"But you won't fall back in love with Stanley here, will you?"

"No."

Oddly enough the question hadn't surprised her and it might be why her answer came up so easily, no mattered the dark shade it seemed to bring along. If she had had to be honest _ at this exact moment _ she would have had to thank Will for being there with her. He hadn't stopped backing her up all day long when most of her comments had only highlighted an evident lack of motivation. It almost seemed normal then that he had asked her such a thing. Yet he could have been a lot more insisting.

"Let's finish the day with a bottle of Champagne in front of some movie, in my room. Okay?"

They watched _Casablanca_, odd coincidence matching a bit too perfectly the conversation of their meal. It had always been her all-time favorite one, secretly enough though. Through the years, she had grown addicted to the way her heart felt completely broken _ dismantled _ before the tragic love triangle that the characters suffered from.

She felt asleep rocked by the murmurs of the television and the taste of Champagne on her lips, carried away by the idea that one day she would have her very own painful love story; no mattered it hurt like hell and she spent the rest of her life crying. Because it was how she saw things, where romanticism lay at the end.

Because there was nothing like a prohibited affair, an impossible dream to finally feel and thus to be.


	4. Tuesday Afternoon First Week

**Tuesday Afternoon, First Week**

He called her in the morning except that instead of bringing her comfort and joy, it only made her angry and she spent her time being harsh with him. She couldn't help it, no mattered how much frustration it carried along as well. On his side, he pretended not to see the slightest thing _ as usual _ and if asked he would have probably said that they were doing just fine.

It didn't have to do with his infidelity and the way she had found once the number of a woman on some pack of cigarettes. He didn't smoke except a Cuban cigar on Sunday to accompany his Whiskey. They had slept together just once, he had said. Insisting on the "just" as if it would soften his acts. Against all expectations, she hadn't cried and simply moved to another bedroom. From then on there hadn't been a night during which she had fallen asleep in his arms.

Then all of a sudden _ as if feeling guilty _ he had come back to her and started it all again, playing the perfect husband who had nothing to regret. No reproach either. And she had tried to turn the page but it seemed to be a lot more hard than what she had imagined in the first place. If she had never been able to define her sentiments for Stanley, he still had a lot of importance in her heart; too much perhaps.

The room was small enough to be intimate yet without succumbing to the sentiment of suffocation that narrow places often offered. She nonetheless felt an ounce of timidity invade her as she stepped in and saw Will on one of the massage tables.

Smiling at him in return, she slowly approached her own table but didn't lay down on it. The employees hadn't arrived yet but the music was on, some zen melody supposed to relax them at the most. She was going to need it, as a matter of fact, because her sudden closeness to Will was extremely disturbing.

They had spent the last three days together, from the first hours of the morning to the very last moment of the night when retreating to their respective suites. Perhaps it was for them being out of their usual schemes _ so far from Manhattan and without anyone else _ but they hadn't argued yet when they used to do it all the time until then.

They talked a lot _ about a thousand different things _ and even though he hadn't insisted on her issues with Stanley, he still tried his best to help her through it all like the craziness over the organization that seemed a bit pointless for her marriage being so uncertain. And if she hadn't been so uptight in her own world, she would have thanked him properly because he deserved it.

She was about to speak when both employees entered and before she had time to realize anything, she was laying on her stomach, her bath towel down her lower back next to him.

Jack had seen her naked a thousand times and if she didn't mind that much about his gaze, it was very different with Will; for whatever reason she couldn't explain. She felt intimated by his presence, not in a bad way but it still tended to emphasize her inhibitions and all of a sudden, she lost her composure at the most.

He had insisted on the massage, saying that it would be nice after a whole morning of planning tables and a dinner menu. Reluctant to go back to her suite and face the empty bottles of Champagne of the past evening, she had accepted and there she was now, lay down by his side; half-naked and mortified.

The massage began to kick in and little by little she relaxed until she let go of her arm down her side. Her fingers were slowly caressing the air when she felt his hand against hers. It made her shiver and if she wondered why he had suddenly decided to hold her hand like that, she didn't push him away. Her eyes closed, she enjoyed the warmth of his skin on hers, the comforting feeling it brought up.

They headed to the beach for the rest of the afternoon and if he went for a swim, she remained on a teak deck chair _ in the shadows of a beach umbrella, under a large straw hat _ behind Chanel sunglasses and read some novel she had brought along with her. They didn't speak that much. His gesture at the spa a few hours earlier had troubled her to say the least and subconsciously stirred up a deep embarrassment. She wasn't mad at him. It just wasn't supposed to be that way around maybe.

As she retreated to her suite in order to change and get ready for dinner, she wondered what their next day together would bring. If she had been dubious about his presence by her side during the first hours of their trip, she was now rather happy that he was there to help her go through everything and perhaps even more than what she could imagine. Picking up a black dress in the closet, she stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her complexion might still be fair, the sun had nonetheless brought some golden shade to her skin; something she wasn't used to and yet liked quite a bit.

She undressed, proceeded to put on the black dress and did her hair up in some falsely neglected bun. Focused on the day after and eager to know what would happen of them, she stepped out of her suite to meet him down in the lobby of the hotel. Making a novice's mistake though and forgetting that so many things could happen before this "tomorrow"; during those last hours left that none of them actually controlled.


	5. Tuesday Evening First Week

**Tuesday Evening – First Week**

All of a sudden the world turned black and mute. Concentrating on the pale light she could see further in front of her, she forgot about the loud sound of her own heart beating and headed instead to the other end of the pool; coming back to the surface under one of the spotlights of the hotel. A smile on her face she burst out laughter while looking up at him sat timidly on the tiled floor. The rum they had kept on drinking had finally gone to her head, making it all fuzzy.

It must have been why she hadn't blushed while taking her clothes off _ her eyes locked with his _ and jumped into the pool wearing only a black bikini. Alcohol had swept away her inhibitions as well as all these wonders haunting her mind quietly. And she felt fine there all of a sudden; as if she had reached a state of near perfection after too many years of wandering through some sort of labyrinth of doubts.

"Come in, honey."

They weren't alone. Other swimmers were enjoying a late-night swimming-pool session but stuck in a corner behind a false cascade of water, they seemed cut from the rest of the world.

With an unexpected boldness she grabbed his hand, pressed it tightly. His skin was hot against her wet fingers; absorbing the water drops between their respective palm hands. Though she barely noticed it, too busy as she was smiling at him. She knew that she would win over him, that at some point he would be resigned _ sighing or rolling his eyes _ and would join her in the waters. Her smile was a very effective weapon.

"I am not very good at swimming."

His confession troubled her and for a few seconds she tried to remember the past two days, how he had spent so much time in the ocean. She hadn't observed him that much by then _ too hooked by her novel _ and now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember having seen him actually swim.

"That's okay. It isn't a race or anything... I just don't want to be alone in there."

She didn't want him to look at her, study her body in the smallest detail while being in the waters. The effects of the rum cocktail had faded away when she had plunged in the pool and little by little she was realizing what kind of situation she had rushed in. Very soon he would notice that she probably looked ridiculous in this bikini for someone of her age or that she should have lost a few pounds and she didn't like it.

"Oh the things you make me do..."

She welcomed him with a bright, honest smile as he slowly made it in the pool by her side. If the sun had softly embraced her skin of a golden shade, Will was definitely sun-tanned now emphasizing thus the contrast between their respective complexions.

He was a good-looking man and she would have lied if she hadn't said that she secretly hoped people at the hotel thought she might have been involved with him in a romantic relationship. Not for any kind of feeling but for the image Will sent back. And so she wished he had been hers, somehow; not just her friend or whatever he was supposed to be then.

"And now?"

Shrugging, she turned around and plunged back in the waters heading to another spot; a further one, in the dark. She emerged back only to see him under a spotlight a few feet away; trying to catch her back with the awkwardness of novices. He didn't swim very well, was obviously not used to it.

"Why don't you go swimming in the ocean, during the day, Kare? We have been here for three days now and this is the first time I see you in the water... What is this all about, the sun on your fair complexion?"

His question took her completely aback and suddenly a veil of vulnerability wrapped her up in a silent motion, a heavy one. Blessing the darkness surrounding them and hiding thus an obvious discomfort she cleared her voice and shrugged, looking for her words; for any kind of explanation that would put an end to the conversation with an impressive efficiency.

"I don't like the waves."

"You are afraid of the ocean?"

"No... I just don't like the waves. That's all."

She wished her voice hadn't been so harsh, on the defensive as if he had crossed the lines when he had no idea of anything at all. She wasn't being fair to him and regretted it immediately; until his hands slid on her waist unexpectedly.

"You are beautiful, though."

She had been said that human touch under the water was bare, almost invisible. But as she felt his hands on her skin _ a place he had never touched before _ a shiver ran down her spine as thoughts began to twirl around in her mind; his words getting lost in the vapor of alcohol.

Looking down at the water, she shook her head and let a bitter laugh escape.

"Oh no, I am not. Not anymore..."

As his fingers caressed her chin so she locked up her eyes with his, she thought about the afternoon at the spa and how his hand had found hers in the silence of the room. It had troubled her but yet she had pretended it hadn't happened, that nothing needed to be said about it; convincing herself that he had just tried to be nice.

She might have been wrong at the end.

His stomach brushed hers as he made a step closer in the dark. He had drunk too much but even though she knew about that, she still remained there in his arms; between his legs. Then looked up at him when she should have gone away and found an excuse to escape from a dangerous situation.

She closed her eyes and waited nervously for the inevitable kiss that would sign their demise, feeling the heat of his breath approaching her lips closely. She was his. As incomprehensible as it could sound, she had succumbed to Will and couldn't go away now.

His lips brushed hers but they never kissed. A loud splash by their side surprised them; making them break apart. Someone had jumped into the pool a few feet away, not seeing them in the darkness of the night.


	6. Wednesday Morning First Week

**Wednesday Morning – First Week**

She wished they had kissed. She wished she had tasted his lips, melted under the contact of her tongue with his then let her hands wander over his body. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the idea in itself was prohibited. She just wanted Will _ for whatever reason _ and was now determined to reach him.

She should have felt embarrassed and confused but getting tired of all these lies, she had decided to be honest for once; at least with herself. And if she had retreated to her suite alone the night before she had thought about him all along, fantasizing about what would have happened if nobody had jumped in the swimming-pool preventing them thus from sharing a kiss.

The sun waking her up a few hours later didn't change her desires. On the contrary, it seemed to have strengthened a vaguely known sensation buried in her lower stomach and even when Stanley called, a bright smile kept on playing on her lips. What could she have said? She felt alive, as curious as it could sound; alive and with a thousand projects in mind for the very first time in a long while. And she didn't care that much if they weren't necessarily glorious ones.

"Where are we going to?"

Behind her sunglasses she observed the boat for the hundredth time then stared at Will a bit perplexed; and anxious. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't know that she hated sailing boats, even less why. But still, a quiet panic was slowly invading her now and sweeping away her resolutions to get something from him in spite of their friendship.

"You will see..."

He grabbed her hand but probably noticed how she was shaking. Surprised, he stopped halfway and if his smile didn't find any resonance in her heart, she still appreciated it somehow.

"Trust me, Kare. Trust me and you won't regret it."

Stanley had said alike the day of their wedding, just before they made it to the altar. Ten years later and there they were, dismantled and in pieces like a house of cards that wouldn't have resisted the wind. Yet she nodded at him and stepped on the boat; shoes in hand. The wooden deck was warm under her feet but as she began to feel the waves under, her heart sped up too quickly.

"Are you going to be sick? You look pale, suddenly."

"Oh no, I am going to do just fine. Now if I could have a drink or something, it would be even better to be honest."

She didn't look how the harbor vanished in their backs as they left and preferred to concentrate on the immensity of blue spreading in front of her eyes. The ocean was calm, the sun embracing the waters of beautiful golden shades. And after a glass of Martini, she began to relax; to moderate her fears.

Just because her father had never come back while going out with his sailing boat didn't mean that she would have to go through the same at some point in her life. Everyone didn't die swallowed by the waves and the tide.

Sat down in the shadows of a sail, she studied Will from the corner of her eyes. If he had seemed rather relaxed at the harbor, a sudden change had happened as soon as they had left making him look nervous and uncomfortable. Though she wasn't the one who had dragged him over on the boat, far from the rest of the crowd. He had taken the decision himself and that was a sign she couldn't miss out.

"Are you going to remain silent for the next few hours? Because if so, I go back to the hotel swimming right away, honey."

"I can't tell you that much about the reason why we are here. It is a surprise and you will find out about it tonight."

Her blood turned icy and barely controlling her anxious tone of voice, she turned around _ took off her sunglasses _ then locked her eyes with his.

"We are going to sail for the rest of the day? And come back... By night?"

She didn't like this perspective at all, the idea of wandering through the darkness of the ocean without being able to see the slightest thing. It made her feel vulnerable, too fragile.

"I don't have any sweater. I am going to get a cold, Will."

"I will lend you mine. Don't be worried, just relax."

She didn't insist, mostly pushed by images of the night before playing in her head constantly. It was just as intoxicating as alcohol, made it all dizzy and soft. So perhaps if she managed to forget about her fear she would be able to take advantage of their journey.

"Would you like a Martini, honey?"

"No, thank you... I don't want any drink anymore. No alcohol, I mean. Obviously it wasn't such a good idea the last time I did."

She regretted her question immediately for having pushed him to say something she didn't want to hear. Implicitly enough, he had reduced her hopes to ashes; these ridiculous fantasies she had been holding since the night before.

She couldn't force him. As much as she felt like finding back the heat of his arms around her, she could not start a game of seduction if he didn't want it too. It could have worked with someone else perhaps... But not with him.

Because she was married and about to celebrate her wedding anniversary.

Because he was one of her best friends and had been backing her up since the very beginning.

Because of Grace, and Jack.

Because he was Will and just didn't share her perspectives.

She felt stupid all of a sudden, trapped by his side with her inconsiderate ideas. But because she had no other choice she cleared her voice and laughed, a bit desperately.

"Yeah sure... Well, if you don't mind I will have another one."


	7. Wednesday Evening First Week

**Wednesday Evening – First Week**

The night had fallen over the ocean for quite a while now and except for the lights of the sail boat they were plunged in the dark; the waves crashing softly against the hull. Once the dinner over, she had sat on a couch outside on the deck and remained there quietly. She had enjoyed her day with him, in spite of all. Going away from the hotel for a while had turned out to be an excellent idea but now the night had made it over the waters, she wanted nothing but to find back her five-star suite.

"Are you cold? You are shivering."

Gladly accepting the mug of coffee Will was tending her, she shrugged at his question then stared at her feet. She had been humiliated; subconsciously perhaps but still. For the very first time in her life, a man hadn't wanted to go any further with her _ breaking thus a couple of fantasies _ and it was hard to deal with that especially on the narrow place that was the sail boat.

"Wait... Here is the sweater I promised you this morning."

It was a navy blue, cashmere v-neck sweater; one he didn't wear very often because she had rarely seen him in it. Yet as soon as she put it on, his scent seemed to embrace her skin _ her whole body _ and she started smiling.

"So are you going to tell me why we came here in the first place? I have been waiting all day long for an answer and now it is pitch-dark. Where are we going to?"

She loved his childish smile _ the one he used when being the only person who knew something _ but she always pretended the exact opposite; rolling her eyes at him in a false exasperation. Sitting on the couch opposite hers, Will frowned and cleared his voice then took a sip of coffee.

He was teasing her but she loved it.

"Had you ever been to Hawaii before, Karen?"

She couldn't restrain a laughter before the absurdity of his question but she regretted it immediately, too afraid he might have felt offended by her reaction. She didn't want to argue with him, didn't want to get mad at him. She couldn't afford it. Not now, not there.

"Of course, I had; probably a dozen times. Why are you asking me that? It isn't such an exotic place, as a matter of fact..."

"Then you should guess where a boat can go to by night; and why."

She felt like replying but finally decided to keep for herself the fact that when on vacation with Stanley they didn't go anywhere. They simply stayed at the hotel and took advantage of its services, trying to pretend they were enjoying their time when the days were actually boring and sad.

"Think about it, Kare. What do people observe in Hawaii by night?"

The smell suddenly surrounding her found a clear resonance in Will's question. It reminded her of Italy, the only place where she had actually walked on one. The images she had of it were extremely blurry but the smell had made it through the years and never really left her at the end.

"We are going to see a volcano?"

"I should have thought about the smell and how you would figure it out sooner than expected. But yes, this is where I am taking you tonight. The closest possible to the lava flow."

She didn't have time to finish her coffee. The rolling tide suddenly became stronger as the temperatures reached higher degrees within a few minutes. The smell was omnipresent now, not as subtle as it had been but she didn't mind that much anymore because right in front of her, a reddish wave seemed to fall down from the sky into the dark waters of the night.

"Are you alright?"

The sound of his voice caressing her ear made her jump of surprise but as much as he had come closer to stand in her back, she kept on staring at the lava flow in front of the boat. Attentive to his question, she nonetheless nodded.

"Yes, I am fine."

It was just that she was hypnotized, against all expectations because she would have never imagined a volcano would have such effect on her. But the contrast of lights made it all, as well as the strong sound coming from the eruption whenever lava ran into the ocean. Some sort of fury seemed to escape from the entrails of Earth and if it was scaring, there was still something appealing emanating from it.

"It isn't the first time you come here, is it, honey?"

"No... I came here with Michael once."

The mention of his ex-boyfriend finally put an end to her contemplation of the volcano but as turning her head around, she didn't dare to look at him properly and simply nodded with shyness before his comment.

"What is the name of this volcano?"

"_Mauna Loa_... It means 'long mountain'. Actually it is the largest volcano you will find on this planet."

She thanked him in silence for not having insisted about Michael, for having accepted her very own deviance about it. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway and would have felt uncomfortable.

All of a sudden a blanket landed on her shoulders and she swallowed hard as she felt his hand slid on her lower back while he settled under the large wooden plaid by her side.

"It is getting a bit colder, isn't it?"

She never replied to him and simply kept on observing the lava flow running into the ocean through a pitch-dark night; the bright colors lighting up their faces like a thousand fireworks, warming up their lonely hearts.

And she smiled, for being in his arms.


	8. Thursday Afternoon First Week

**Thursday Afternoon – First Week**

She woke up to his scent, the softness of the cashmere sweater caressing her bare skin with the exact same delicacy as a morning kiss; one of those she hadn't had in a very long while. Perhaps even before her marriage to Stanley. Trying not to focus on what sounded like a heavy _ bitter _ realization, she just rolled on her side and opened her eyes to admire the ocean through the French window.

She was getting accustomed to it; the heat of the sun on her face and the sound of the waves crashing below on the beach. Not that she had drawn a line under Manhattan but she didn't miss the skyline of the buildings anymore. There was something serene about Hawaii, something that rocked her to sleep and healed a few scars she carried on her heart, on her mind as well. It might have seemed odd but she actually felt fine, there.

Her hair had brought back the peculiar smell of the volcano, the one they had kept on observing during long hours before finally heading back to the hotel with the sunrise over the ocean. It had been an odd night, appealing but surreal and too tired to even change in her negligee, she had taken her clothes off to only keep on his sweater then drifted off to sleep within a few minutes.

A knock on the door made her jump of surprise but she nonetheless got up _ put a negligee on this time _ and went to open only to face Will standing in the corridor. He was smiling brightly, his sunglasses in hand as if ready to go out for the day when she had barely woken up.

"Were you still sleeping?"

"No, don't be worried."

Though she didn't remain at the door and headed back to bed instead under the comfortable blankets. It was a particularly sunny day. The blinding light pushed her to grab her own sunglasses abandoned on the nightstand. Pointing out at the cashmere sweater she had quickly thrown on an armchair, she took the menu of the hotel and leafed through it.

"Your sweater is here, honey. Thank you for lending it to me."

From the corner of her eyes she observed him grab the piece of clothing then sit on the edge of her bed. Obviously he had something in mind, just like the day before. How come did he not want to spend the slightest hour without her? When he had clearly let her understand that he would never be more than a friend.

"Have you eaten anything yet? I am rather hungry to be honest."

She ended up ordering a brunch for two and they settled down on the terrace, sat at the teak table that overlooked the beach and most of the coast. The view was breathtaking, so far from her daily routine it made her feel lighter somehow. As if she had left a lot of things in New York, dark clouds over her head she hoped would be gone when heading back home in a week.

"Stanley called me. He didn't manage to reach you this morning."

"I was sleeping, probably. What did he say?"

It was a rhetorical question, politically correct because if she had had to be honest, she didn't mind that much about it. She didn't miss her husband, on the contrary. Being far from him seemed to help her go and work on something that had been broken but the mere sound of his voice on the phone was enough to stir up another wave of strong frustration.

Will took his time, sipping slowly on his grapefruit juice. He didn't look nervous but still embarrassed and for a few seconds she regretted her own question.

"Nothing special... He confirmed his arrival for Saturday afternoon and that's all; mostly, I think."

"Good..."

"Why did you marry him? For money?"

"Excuse me?"

She couldn't help blushing at his unexpected question, feeling all of a sudden extremely uncomfortable. A few minutes earlier they were still eating pancakes quietly enough, enjoying the Hawaiian landscape and now there she was, facing something that spread a strong panic in her mind.

"Why did you marry him in the first place? Were you in love or it was more something in the moment? Something you hadn't really planned but that nonetheless happened."

"I might have a rather impulsive temper but you should now that every single decision I take has been calculated over and over before. Especially when it comes to marriage."

If her voice had sounded harsh, Will didn't leave her enough time to soften her remark.

"Even if feelings were involved? Or do I have to understand that you married him on financial purpose only?"

If she began to feel angry before his suggestion, she quickly swallowed it back for sincerity. Perhaps he had been a bit awkward in his question but she knew that his intentions weren't bad ones. He was a nice person, someone she could rely on.

"I loved him... But he was still married and I had to wait for ten years before anything really happened, before he left her for me. A whole decade is a long time, believe me. So if this is not a proof of love... I don't know what it is."

She took another bite of her pancake but the taste wasn't so good anymore. The bitterness of some sad realization weighed on it too much now.

"What did he tell you exactly that pushed you to ask me that, Will?"

Her voice was bitter but for once she didn't really mind. It was just the way she felt; vulnerable and lost before something she didn't want to see. It still ended up falling on her head like a ton of bricks through a few words as if it were pure logic.

This time Will didn't try to win some seconds. Calmly enough _ resigned, perhaps _ he put down his napkin on the table and sighed.

"He thinks he has lost you. He thinks you will never come back now. He thinks you don't want to."


	9. Thursday Evening First Week

**Thursday Evening – First Week**

She had got drunk once, in college. The room had begun to spin around and she had woken up the next morning with an unbearable headache, and the sentiment to have done something wrong. From then on she hadn't tried to cross the limits anymore, just learned how to remain in this appealing tipsy world if only for a few hours. It had worked, more times than she could actually remember; becoming thus some sort of addiction.

Until that night in the heat of Hawaii.

If the temperatures seemed to have increased as the moon had settled up in the sky, the air was actually suffocating in the small bar, producing thus some sort of steam that floated around like the pale figure of a lonely ghost looking for company. The lights were dimmed, colorful bulbs caressing the dancers' suntanned skins; piercing like a rainbow through the customers' drinks. And the loud music all around, beating against your chest, running through your veins bewitchingly.

She had ordered a Mojito but couldn't remember the other glasses she had held from then on. Rum was going to her head a bit too quickly _ her cheeks turning hot _ and all of sudden she wasn't tipsy anymore but drunk yet still enjoying her night out with Will.

When he had offered her to go to some bar downtown a few hours earlier, she had almost refused but then Stanley's confession had made it up to her mind and she had abdicated. After a little wandering in the streets of Honolulu, they had ended up at a small Latin salsa club that only locals seemed to know. But nobody had cared about their presence there _ not paying attention at all _ and they had sat down at a table in the back of the room to observe the dancers going on.

She was sipping her cocktail with a barely contained melancholy when a hand landed on hers, making her jump of surprise. Looking up, she found herself facing a young Latin man. He smiled at her, rather brightly and she couldn't help blushing.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Oh yes, she would love to!"

Swallowing back her gasp, she frowned at Will but nonetheless stood up to follow the young man until the small, improvised dance floor. Only Latin girls twenty years younger than her were there, in some partner's arms following the rhythm of the _bachata _playing on. As she settled against the stranger, she wondered if Will was looking at her somewhere in her back, if his eyes were eager to follow the slow, sensual movements of her hips carried on by the male dancer.

She bit the inside of her mouth to restrain an amused smile as they began to dance and the man stared at her in disbelief. Like every time, her obvious Irish origins mistook people on her abilities and none of them would have ever imagined that she might have learned Latin dances, even less lived for a few years after her father's death in The Dominican Republic. And as much as there were some things she had always wanted to erase from her life, others seemed to be engraved forever in her soul; just like the sensual rhythm of a _bachata._

"You are quite a good dancer."

The man's breath was hot against her ear but what made her shiver turned out to be the moment she landed her eyes on Will a few feet away, a bit in the dark behind a couple of rows of tables. He was observing her, obviously amused and delighted by the way she kept on dancing with such easiness even though she wasn't Latin.

A few more steps and the song came to an end. Thanking her unexpected partner, she turned around to head back to her table only to be stopped halfway by a hand on her waist. Will had stood up, came to the dance floor and was now implicitly asking her for a dance.

If she had kept reasonable distances with the stranger, this time she didn't hesitate to place herself really close to him, between his legs. She closed her eyes all along as if to enjoy even more the moment _ the way his hand slowly slid on her lower back as her knee brushed his inner thigh _ and the warmth of his heat on her neck; the thin fabric of her black dress spreading there like a veil between their respective flesh.

She wished his lips had ended up embracing her skin, there, where it was so thin than the mere breeze made her shiver and swallow hard, intoxicated by the glasses she had drunk all along the night. She had never been so close to him, so close to his whole body with a bold intimacy.

"I didn't know that you liked dancing."

Her hand traveling up his arm, she leaned over his ear and smiled.

"You never took me out."

They kept on dancing for a long while before heading back to the street, the breeze caressing their red cheeks warmly. They made it to the hotel wrapped up by the vapors of alcohol and the rhythm of Latin dances rocking their minds bewitchingly.

She wasn't sleepy and didn't want to let him go away. The last hours had stirred up a deep urge of contact to avoid the abyss of her lonely life and there he was now.

"Do you want a drink?"

She burst out laughing as he grabbed her by the waist and began to dance again in the silence of the suite. But fatigue won over and all of a sudden she stumbled, falling down on her bed; dragging him down in her awkward step.

She was laughing hard, feeling drunk and light; without all these problems that seemed to darken her life. Perhaps alcohol was the solution at the end. It made it all blurry and easy, perfect. Rolling on her side, she came to face Will who was obviously in the same numbed state as she was.

Rum and _bachata_, a devilish mix perhaps.

"Thank you for tonight, Kare..."

Shyness spread over and she lowered her gaze but her eyes stopped on his lips a few inches away from hers. He was smiling softly, with sincerity.

"It doesn't necessarily have to come to an end now, honey."

She closed her eyes, feeling his breath coming closer to her lips. Melted under his kiss.


	10. Friday Morning First Week

**Friday Morning – First Week**

The sun was warm on her bare shoulder, soft like a delicate caress. Or a kiss. To the thought of the last option, she opened her eyes and turned around in bed; her heart beating loud in her chest. But nobody was there and the place was cold. Slowly enough she laid back on her back and observed the ceiling as wonders were rushing to her mind. She had a headache _ probably caused by the rum of the previous night _ and her bones were achy. But still...

"Will, are you there?"

She couldn't restrain the ounce of anxiety in her voice that the silence following her question only did emphasize, making her mouth dry. So almost instinctively _ in a vague attempt to reassure herself _ she began to think about the past evening, the night that had followed.

She couldn't remember anything of what had happened once they had gone back to her suite. It was all blurry in her head, uncertain and yet extremely vivid as if she still could feel his lips on her skin; his hands on her thighs and his breath caressing her neck by sensual waves.

Besides she was entirely naked, her clothes abandoned haphazardly on the floor around the bed. She couldn't have doubt about what had happened. Could she?

Still plunged in a semi-state of interrogations, she headed to the bathroom to have a shower hoping that the water would wake her up once and for all from this hazy dream. If the steam rocked her and calmed her heartbeats, nothing happened in her head and a latent shame began to spread as she realized that she might have been unfaithful to Stanley; and to Grace as well somehow.

With a thousand doubts and interrogations, she finally decided to go for Will in order to have an answer to all of this; no mattered it might hurt, tear apart something. She needed to know, just to see if she had ruined it all one more time.

"Mr. Will is by the pool downstairs if you are looking for him."

Before the maid's comment, she wondered if she had to be surprised by the fact the employee actually knew Will by his name or that he had told her where he was heading to when she _ herself _ had not received the slightest call or text message. But a bit taken aback by the circumstances, she politely gave a smile and headed down outside the hotel.

The sun was hot and the air unbearable in spite of a strong wind that the high temperatures only got to turn into an implacable fire. She hated this weather, burning her skin and making her sweaty. Besides the daylight was too strong and blinded her all along.

She found him at a table facing the ocean in the shadows of a palm tree, under a straw hat and behind sunglasses. For a few seconds she thought about turning on her heels and go back to bed, forgetting it all before sweeping away all the wonders from her head. Perhaps it would be better like that, if she had no idea of what had happened the previous night and she would turn the page over a mere hypothesis.

But something pushed her to go to him, an odd hope maybe; an odd hope over a broken fantasy.

"Good morning."

She could have sworn that he had jumped and moved uncomfortably on his seat at the sound of her voice but even if so, he didn't lose composure at all and simply nodded back at her; with distance.

"Good morning."

"So how... How have you slept?"

She hated the morning after. It always made her feel stupid, uncomfortable and not very self-assured. Waking up next to someone for the first time was probably the biggest gesture of intimacy she had ever had; of vulnerability as well unfortunately.

"Why normally. I mean, as usual."

His tone of voice _ extremely detached _ only increased the invisible panic that had stirred up in her head for quite a while and all of a sudden she didn't know what to think anymore; if it had only been a trick of so-called fantasies or the strength of his lies before something he didn't want to assume, for some obvious reasons.

"Oh good... Because... I mean... You could have stayed, you know."

"What? Where should I have stayed?"

"Well, after last night... I mean, you know... After what happened between you and I."

He never took his sunglasses off, as if to hide better his eyes behind them. She remained there, feeling terribly ridiculous and disarmed; at his mercy.

And he didn't miss it out obviously.

"What happened last night? I took you back to your suite, kissed you goodnight and went to sleep. Just like any other night."

Before her silence, Will seemed to lose his calm for the very first time and sighed loudly pointing out a pile of papers in front of him.

"Well, if you don't mind I have work to do now so... See you later, Karen."

"Alright, sorry. I... Then I go to... Sorry."

Her cheeks were burning and she felt dizzy, on the verge to burst into tears for not being able to die at the scene. Slowly enough she turned around and headed back inside the hotel, took the elevators and only allowed herself to breathe again when reaching her suite; closing the door.

It couldn't have been a mere dream. As blurry as everything was, the sensations were there, on her skin and it was too bright not to belong to reality. And yet if the idea of her infidelity was tough enough, the way Will had denied it all _ being harsh, sounding false _ caused something to ache inside of her body. Her heart, maybe.

Yes, her heart.

He had broken it.


	11. Friday Afternoon First Week

**Friday Afternoon – First Week**

"Stanley? It is me. I wanted to call you because... How are you? I... I miss you. So when do you arrive exactly?"

The waves were crashing on the beach with a scaring regularity and sat on the terrace of her suite, she kept on staring at them like hypnotized by their monotone routine. There was something appealing in their motion, something she couldn't name but that nonetheless warmed up her heart, rocked her as well somehow. It brought up the necessary courage to face the conversation with Stanley, sweeping away a vague sensation of bitterness from her mind and after long minutes of hesitation there she was now, on the phone with her husband.

There weren't lies. All the words that came from her mouth _ sliding along her lips _ were honest to her heart even though they might have been hiding something more, like a deeper regret; a mistake way too old to ever get erased or forgotten.

"Yes, everything is ready. I mean... I wasn't sure about the red roses but since you insisted so much..."

She couldn't remember why she had married him in the first place. If it were by love or a simple whim, some sort of challenge before another woman. Everything was blurry now and as much as she tried to concentrate on this part of her life _ ten years earlier _ there wasn't a single detail that made it to her at the end.

Had she been happy at some point? The self-question making her mouth dry, she took a sip of her iced- tea and frowned, swallowed hard.

"Then I will pick you up at the airport. No... No, I really want to. We will take a taxi together. I can get a driver easily here. This is not a problem."

She didn't listen to what he was saying on the other end of the line. She only caught up some sentences from time to time, some words. She missed Manhattan suddenly, from the effervescence of the city to the buildings; the gray sky maybe but at least out there nothing happened between Will and her and she was free of any guilt.

"Yes, at six but... He is fine."

He had taken her by surprise. She hadn't assumed that in the middle of their conversation Stan would allude to Will but there he was now, insisting about him. For a couple of seconds she felt like saying it all from the swimming-pool night to the salsa club downtown Honolulu but then she realized that there was nothing else to add. The rest remained uncertain, blurry and far.

"He is working today. I guess he has some cases to study or something... Yeah... Yeah anyway he was there for me all week long, indeed. He deserves a day at peace. Far from me!"

She sounded light. As odd as it happened to be, her tone of voice had nothing bitter and she seemed to do just fine among her lies, as if it were a mere routine. She rolled her eyes, exasperated by her own realization over her behavior.

"They arrive tomorrow morning, at some point before noon. I just assume that we will have lunch and rest by the pool or something. The other guests arrive in the afternoon... Then you, in the evening."

As if the mention of Will weren't enough, now her husband insisted on Grace and Jack and it hurt a lot, deep inside. She felt like she had betrayed everyone, had ruined a few things that were important if not just vital to their existences.

"Are you sure that you can't change your ticket to get an earlier flight? You know that I don't like when I have to be in charge of everything alone. I want you by my side... I need you, Stan."

Three days earlier, he had announced that he would arrive on Friday. Then he had changed his plans, at the last minute as usual to finally stay in Hawaii for a mere two-days vacations.

Business trips, meetings, contracts, agreements, marketing strategies... She had developed a deep haste against these words, the one that had probably broke her marriage to pieces through the years and once again he was using them; in spite of all he had said, all his promises.

"Yes... Yes, I know. I understand, I swear I do. I am sorry I didn't mean to get you mad or anything... It is just that I had hoped we would spend more time together but it is okay. We will do that later anyway. It is fine. Really it... It is, honey."

Her iced-tea lost its appeal _ all of a sudden _ and she went for a Martini instead. The abruptness of the alcohol on her throat was a well-known, reassuring sensation that she desperately needed and as she took a sip of the drink, a comforting smile played on her lips.

"How are Mason and Olivia doing?"

She cared about them but it had never worked out. Too much angst, too much incomprehension and the regrets had come almost immediately. She never insisted, preferring to keep her distance with them if they happened to be at the Upper East Side mansion. Perhaps one day they would accept her for what she was; no mattered her role was actually a very blurry one.

"Hmm... Okay, I see... Yes, sure. I will. Thank you... Yes, goodbye. See you soon."

She put the phone down on the table, observed it for long minutes. Why was she always bitter after a conversation with Stanley? In order to fight away the dark wonders, she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and lit one, closing her eyes as if to fully appreciate the taste. She hated nicotine but needed it to live, just like so many other things.

Her fingers brushed the phone slowly. She bit her lower lip.

"Why I love you too, Stanley..."

Though it sounded more like a question, a rhetorical one maybe.


	12. Saturday Morning First Week

**Saturday Morning – First Week**

The moment she made eye-contact with Jack, she knew that everything would be just fine. With his exuberant presence she would forget about all the rest – the whole week she had gone through – and her life would come back to make sense under gray skies perhaps but at least there would be no pain.

The ride to the airport had been silent and cold; neither Will or her intending to start a conversation. He had spent the previous day on his own, even for dinner. She had remained in her suite wondering if the situation would ever taste the same at some point. It had only been the matter of a few hours but still, she had missed him rather terribly. Perhaps she had simply got accustomed to the Hawaiian routine and so she needed him by her side all the time since in Manhattan she could spend weeks far from him.

It had to be that, some lack of references.

She threw herself in Jack's arms, holding him tight for too long obviously. She had honestly missed him but yet was glad to see him for other reasons.

"Is everything alright?"

His voice sounded soft and sweet to her ear _ reassuring _ and a bit timidly but nonetheless smiling she nodded at him before putting her sunglasses on. She wouldn't let go of his hand, not before he would unpack his suitcase then have a shower. She would stay with him as long as possible and maybe then she would manage to draw a line under Will.

"Look at you two and how suntanned you are! It looks like we have some beach sessions to catch up back."

It was good to see Grace as well. As a matter of fact, it seemed like she had found her balance again and life was coming back to normal, little by little. The week with Will being a mere parenthesis, a page that surely needed to be turned.

Within an hour they were back to the hotel resort, choosing their respective deck chairs on the beach; a cocktail in hand. But soon enough Jack and Will headed for a swim and she found herself alone with Grace. By automatism she had brought her novel along and kept on holding it a bit pointlessly. There would be no time for reading anymore, no peaceful moments in the shadows of a palm tree conversing and laughing with Will. If the reunion brought her a sentiment of relief, a dizzy effervescence came along as well and the quietness of the previous week slowly faded away as the minutes were passing by.

"How is he doing?"

Restraining a sigh of discomfort before Grace's question, she simply shrugged and cleared her voice as if to prepare a neutral answer. She wouldn't have imagined that Will would be the center of her talks so soon. She wasn't ready for it. If she ever would.

"I haven't tried to kill him so take it as an hint."

But Grace didn't laugh at her light comment, on the contrary. Settling further on her deck chair and staring at the ocean in front of her _ she frowned, shook her head. Playing with the straw of her cocktail she nonetheless took her time to reply, explain her own opinion. She seemed to look for words, for the required boldness to say what she had in mind in the first place.

"He looks worried, and a bit lost too perhaps. I knew that it would happen. The moment I got this call from Michael telling me that he had had Will over the phone yesterday... I knew that it would turn out to be that way."

"Michael?"

Perhaps she should have pretended to know about it, to play along the biased role of someone who had control over the situation but Grace's comment had taken her completely aback and before she could have realized it, she had turned around _ taking her sunglasses off _ and stared at her friend in the most complete disbelief.

But Grace didn't seem to care about the fact that she obviously was the only one who actually knew about that.

"Yes, Michael like in "Will and Michael". He shouldn't have called him. He shouldn't have showed up like this in his life, without any warning, as if it were normal. As if nothing had happened... This guy will always be Will's demise."

"But.. When did he call? And what... What did he say?"

She sounded too preoccupied. In other circumstances she would have made fun of the situation, finding something to say about Will's relationships but this time she was simply panicked and felt dizzy. Taking a sip of her Martini she tried to control her heartbeats, to find back a neutral voice that would dominate the whole scene.

"Apparently he has been thinking about Will for a while and misses him... Something along these lines but... I don't know. He has broken his heart for such a long time now that I can't imagine anything but him to do it again and again. Like in some sort of perpetual, unfortunate attempts."

"And do you think Will would... That he would go back to him?"

She looked down at her lap, trying to fight away sensations and blurry memories from Thursday night. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that he hadn't retreated to his room like that as he pretended. They had slept together but shamefully enough, she couldn't even remember it.

"Oh come on, we are talking about Michael here. Michael! Will's big love... Of course he would go to him if he had the opportunity. No matters he knows how bad the ending can be."

They had slept together but he had heard back from Michael a few hours after. His distance with her couldn't be more logical all of a sudden; more embarrassing either. She had been a mistake for him and now she just needed to be forgotten.

"Oh... Look at this, my glass is empty. I need a refill. It is never good to remain in the sun without any drinking. I will be right back, honey."

Standing up, Karen headed to the outside bar slowly enough; concentrating on biting the inside of her mouth to prevent from crying.


	13. Saturday Evening First Week

**Saturday Evening – First Week**

He kissed her cheek. They hadn't seen each other for over a week but a simple _ vague _ contact on her cheek resulted enough to close the chapter of the required tender gesture in public. He looked tired and not really about to give more into any kind of conversation. Obviously he had had a rough time in New York and wanted nothing but to leave it all behind if only for a few hours. Sitting on the limousine seat, she suddenly surprised herself almost regretting his presence by her side. His arrival didn't resolve the slightest thing as she had imagined if not fantasized about.

"Can I smoke in there?"

Observing the way he had already taken out his Cuban cigar and was about to light it up, she rolled her eyes then sighed loudly; shrugged.

"Who cares, anyway? Just do it if you want to."

The lights of Honolulu were speeding past in front of her eyes, a rainbow of electric colors that didn't do anything but emphasizing an odd sentiment of ephemeral life; some sort of gloomy trick of the brain that ended up killing you softly. She bit the inside of her mouth for the thousandth time and focused on their Upper East Side mansion, the familiar place; the smells.

For someone who had never stopped moving from a city to another, it was strange to suddenly face the sensation of homesickness.

"Everyone is here now but as you asked me to do, I told them that the festivities would start tomorrow and that in the meantime they could enjoy the resort."

"Hmm..."

As the car stopped to a streetlight, she felt like confessing everything from her resentment about their marriage to whatever had happened with Will. As a matter of fact, she turned around slowly to face her husband and swallow hard. But as the words were about to come out, the car behind them honked to indicate the light was green and she sat back on her seat looking at her courage go away.

Soon enough the five-star hotel appeared in the night and she followed Stanley in silence through the lobby. He had booked his own suite or better said, she had booked him his own suite as if sharing the size of a two-bedroom apartment was inconceivable if not just crazy. If she had been asked about, she would have said that his personal choice only resulted to be sad. Yet saying a lot about them, saying it all perhaps.

"So... Do you want me to order you dinner here or we go downstairs to the restaurant with Grace, Jack and Will?"

"Actually I would gladly share a table with them."

She had hoped for the exact opposite, not that her friends might notice the distance between Stanley and her but because she didn't want to share a table with her husband and a man she had had a one-night stand with. The situation would be awkward, humiliating.

"Okay... Then I see you there within half an hour."

"No, I come with you now. It is okay, I am fine."

She chose the chair the furthest to Will after an unbearable wait at the bar where she didn't dare to say the slightest thing. Staring intently at her Martini, she had let them talk and laugh. Stanley's nice mood was surprising and had taken her aback confusing her even more. He liked her friends. Maybe not for whom they were but because of what they had made of her at a dark period of her life. If he had pushed her to find a job in the first place, she still owed her change to Will, Jack and Grace.

Stanley would always be grateful for that, always; no mattered what happened.

"So any suggestion from this menu?"

She wasn't hungry. Will's eyes weighed on her to the point a deep discomfort had invaded her and she felt like rushing away, spending the whole night alone in bed thinking about nothing but how she had managed to reach such a messed up situation.

"The shark is actually very good though since you are living with one 24 hours a day or so, you might feel like getting something else tonight."

Will's remark didn't make her blush or feel even more uncomfortable. It just hurt, deep inside, because it came from nowhere and the circumstances weren't in favor of any teasing by then. He had been low, just that.

But everyone laughed at the remark, Stanley even daring a kiss on her temple as if it would arrange all the rest starting with his behavior.

"Excuse me though. I have a headache. I call it a night."

Closing his menu with a cold strength, Will stood up and left pacing the room until he disappeared by the door leaving them all astonished and confused. For a few seconds none of them dared to speak, not knowing what to say. The rest of the room seemed suddenly noisy _ unbearable _ under the murmurs of the conversations and the perpetual clicking of forks and knives on plates.

"Will is... He has been a bit moody lately. Nothing big. Probably stress. It will go better tomorrow."

Though nobody really paid attention to Grace's comment _ nodding politely at it _ and going back to the reading of their menu instead.

"So what are you going to have, Karen?"

Moving nervously on her seat, she shrugged at her husband; cleared her voice to win some seconds.

"I don't know... Maybe... Maybe a salad or something."

But as she looked up and met Grace's eyes, she knew that whatever she would choose, she wouldn't be able to touch it properly.


	14. Sunday Morning First Week

**Sunday Morning - First Week**

"How come you weren't already up? It is almost eight in the morning!"

Her eyes followed the way he threw his newspapers on a table then paced the room until he reached the large French windows open ajar. He hadn't had a gaze for her when coming in. It might have seemed to be a mere detail but it meant a lot to her, too much actually. The morning breeze made her shiver and she crossed her arms on her chest protectively before making a few steps towards him.

Ten years of marriage and Stanley still didn't know that she hated waking up early. She was a night owl and had always been one but he hadn't figured this out; such a tiny detail for him perhaps. Sometimes she wished he had tried to get closer, to actually behave with her like some random couple she observed on the street, through the window from the seat of a hype lounge. It was her very own fantasy, probably the one she didn't have to reach.

"Good morning, Stanley."

"Good morning."

For hours and hours the evening before, she had felt like going to knock on Will's door. Since everyone had arrived to Hawaii, their odd routine had got broken down and it didn't sound right. She needed him, no mattered they had spent a night together and he wanted nothing but to draw a line under it. He was a friend, a very good one, and she terribly missed him.

"Listen, I needed to talk to you about the dress you are thinking you might be wearing today; see if it matches what I have chosen for me. Then perhaps we could..."

A ring tone she knew way too well stopped him in his tracks and before she could say anything Stanley was out on the terrace of her suite, talking to one of his colleagues. It was always the same, whenever they started a conversation, his work found a way to interfere with them and it all came to an end in a whirl of seconds.

She hadn't even thought about her dress. The events of the past few days had taken her away in a blurry world of worries and doubts and all of a sudden she had to face back the reason why she was there in the first place; with whom. Turning on her heels, she was about to head towards the walk-in closet and pick up a dress when a white square on the floor by the door caught her attention. Convinced the piece of paper belonged to her husband, she went for it and would have put it down on the table next to the newspapers if she hadn't recognized the handwriting.

_For you, Karen_

The letter was from Will.

Her heart sped up its pace as a thousand wonders invaded her mind in a desperate attempt to find all the answers supposed to calm her down. Had he slid it under her door the night before and she hadn't even noticed it until now? Unless he had knocked a few minutes earlier and for being asleep, she had missed him. Confused and taken aback, she dared a gaze towards Stanley. He was still in full conversation, but only a few feet away. She hesitated, bit her lower lip in wonder but something pushed her to open the letter. So she did.

_I am a jerk. A complete jerk. Self-absorbed, arrogant but most of all desperately lacking confidence to be able to dare then catch up the right moment when it comes to a reach from my hand. _

_I am lost, confused and scared because none of this should be happening and I shouldn't be there in the first hours of the morning writing down this to you. _

_I want to apologize, beforehand, for all the things I am about to say and for the way I have behaved with you those past few days. I know that I have hurt you and this is something I can't stand. _

_I panicked and ran away from you when waking up in the middle of the night by your side, not really sure of what had happened and why. There are so many things that tend me to think it is wrong but at the same time I have this voice inside of me that can't help wanting the exact opposite. I just don't know how to say it, how to prove you that I am not making utopian promises. I freaked out and left, thinking that anyway it had been a mistake or you would see it as one and I would have to quietly turn the page. But I can't. I don't want to let you go. I don't want to remain on the other side of the table looking how Stanley is stealing from me the role I would like to play, is stealing you from me. I have tried to come up with a hundred scenarios but none of them seems to work the way it should so as much as it sounds incredibly ridiculous and perhaps a tad offending too, considering the circumstances, here is the only thing I want to say to you:_

_I love you. _

_I might be doing a fool of myself but since I have already ruined it all anyway, I secretly hold the hope that you will forgive me at some point and if so, I will be waiting for you at the end of the beach where the lights barely pierce through the palm trees, where you told me once that love at first sight might not have been just a stupid fantasy. If you don't come, it is okay and I promise that I will never mention any of this anymore. I will respect your choice and draw a line under something that turns it all upside down. _

_But I will miss you. I already do. _

"So which dress?"

Stanley's sudden close voice made her jump and with shaking hands she folded the letter as if nothing had happened then headed to her closet, swallowing back whatever was submerging her.


	15. Sunday Evening First Week

**Sunday Evening – First Week**

She had grown accustomed to the way the diamond glimmered, caught the light before sending it back with elegance all around. She had grown accustomed to the way temperatures had an obvious influence on the precious metal and the weight of it on her finger.

If she took the ring off, she felt naked and vulnerable somehow. As if something were missing, as if she had lost her balance and couldn't breathe properly anymore.

She had learned to love it, through the years. Learn to deal with the symbol it represented to finally _ a bit disarmed, perhaps _ realize that she had subconsciously grown addicted to it. She couldn't get rid of her wedding band so easily. She couldn't get rid of Stanley.

"Are you alright? You have been extremely quiet, today. Pensive..."

Passing her thumb on her wedding band, she looked up and smiled at her husband; nodded. Since she had read the letter from Will, she hadn't had a minute for her. Time had flown away and she had found herself at the main table of the privatized restaurant, celebrating with husband and guests her wedding anniversary. The afternoon hadn't been quieter _ going from a group of friends to another _ and before she had had a chance to realize it, they were all back to the restaurant for the dinner. Dances had logically followed _ taking away the last shades of the sun _ and midnight was slowly approaching now.

Midnight...

She had crossed him, exchanged a few polite words but yet not mentioning a single time the words he had written down the evening before then slid under her door. Though when she had locked her eyes with his, he had looked determined; and calm, as if nothing had happened and would eventually make their lives tip over.

"Would you like another glass of Champagne? Unless it is another ring... You haven't stopped staring at it for the last hour now. Is it too big or something? I can get it readjusted."

"Oh no, it... It is fine, actually."

She blushed and felt it, felt how a wave of heat rushed up her cheeks against her very own will. Stanley had been extremely nice if not perfect all day long, putting anything that wasn't related to their couple aside and bringing a deep attention to her as if she were again one of his priorities. She couldn't have been happier in other circumstances but right now, it only made things worse and she felt like crying.

"Why did we never have a child, Stan?"

The question took him aback, maybe even got on his nerves but under the current circumstances and because they weren't alone, he didn't make fun of her; didn't laugh.

"Because we already have Mason and Olivia..."

"But they aren't mine."

Once she had thought that she had got pregnant, at the very beginning of their marriage when they were still trying to adapt to each other and to the new situation. She had made a vague allusion to maternity only to hear him back clearly advance the argument that he didn't want any other child. Then her doubts had turned out to be a false alert and she hadn't insisted anymore, sweeping away the idea but probably not far enough because she had never really stopped thinking about it from then on.

But the face-to-face she might have eagerly waited for never happened. Grace showed up by her side, all of a sudden, and grabbed her arm to make her stand up.

"Do you know where Will is, Karen? I have been looking for him for an hour now. We talked about Michael or better said, we argued about him. He reproached me to allude to a part of his life that was none of my business and now he has disappeared."

Of course she knew where he was, where he was going to. But the truth was that she was dying to get the real meaning of his words towards Grace. He couldn't have been thinking about Michael after the letter he had written, could he? For some reason, she didn't manage to come to any conclusion.

"No, I don't know... If I see him, I will tell him that you are looking for him, alright? Now excuse me, I need to... I need to go."

As she stepped outside, the uncertainty about the end of the night _ and maybe the rest of her life if she had to be honest _ couldn't have been higher. But then she took her shoes off and felt the warm sand on her feet. The sensation was soft, reassuring.

At this exact moment, she let go of everything and abandoned behind her life with Stanley. Perhaps she was about to make the worst mistake of her existence but still, an invisible strength seemed to push her towards Will. And she didn't want to go backwards anymore, to spend the rest of her days wondering if she had taken the wrong decision for having stayed in a marriage for comfort and money.

...

She let go of the band as she tasted the salt of his lips and abandoned herself to the long awaited kiss. A light breeze made the sand fly in the air, covering thus the wedding ring.

Seven days a week to rely on him, to learn by his side, understand a couple of basic yet essential things like the fragility of life and how she didn't have that much of a hold over her own heart. Vulnerability had taken possession of her but she couldn't panic anymore. Because she was with him.

They broke apart but her lips kept on brushing his and locking her eyes with his brown ones, Karen settled down the rest of her life.

"I love you, Will."

Seven days a week and there she was, not falling apart because of the absence of her wedding ring on her finger but on the contrary, feeling extremely alive. For the very first time.


	16. Monday Morning Second Week

**Monday Morning – Second Week**

He had his briefcase in hand, wore an Armani suit and had taken off his sunglasses. In his mind, he was already in New York prepared for a new workday full of meetings and incomprehensible contracts that would bring him money soon enough. This was the definition of his life, the reason why he woke up in the first hours of the morning every day and left for his office downtown unless his agenda took him on a trip out of the state. If these were the main lines of the scheme, then she didn't belong to it.

A bit nervous _ saying goodbye had always made him feel uncomfortable _ he looked at the gate on his right then shrugged at her in some vain apologies.

"Well, I guess I should go now."

She wanted him to stay as strange as it sounded. They needed to talk, to stop avoiding things because it might have been too late anyway and everything was broken now, reduced to ashes. Soon enough the wind would take it all away and they would be left with nothing but bitter regrets for not having been honest on time, for not having dared to face the end when it had occurred. But because cowardice was easier to use, she simply nodded at him then smiled.

"Yes, it is never good to be late."

The way his finger brushed her cheek surprised her but she let him do, locked her eyes with his as if to look for something that might help her feel relieved. He seemed calm, and serene.

"You did enjoy the party, didn't you? You did enjoy last night..."

For a few seconds she thought that he had guessed, that perhaps he had actually always sensed the odd connection between Will and her but had remained quiet over it, resigned. And implicitly enough _ on the verge to leave Hawaii _ he was telling her that it was alright. He had lost her but they would do just fine.

"Yes, I did. It was a nice anniversary. Thank you for everything, Stanley."

She had spent the night in another man's arms, not a mere stranger but someone they had considered as a very close friend since the very beginning; someone they could rely on when needed. The scheme had exploded within a few hours as she had cheated on her husband. And there they were now, pretending it would be alright as if nothing had happened. They were too coward.

"Then it is all what matters to me. You know that, don't you? I just want you to be happy, Karen. Please don't forget that."

Then he was gone. Passing the gate briefcase in hand without a last gaze towards her or the promise he would call as soon as his flight landed in New York. Nothing but half-words of a disillusion that hurt in the end, in spite of all. Turning on her heels, she headed back to the end of the terminal where a sedan was waiting for her. She stepped in it and stared in silence at the planes further on the tarmac until the last bend hid them.

The day she had learned about her husband's infidelity, she hadn't yelled or cried but remained quiet in front of him _ hands on her lap _ then asked him why; and why he was confessing everything now. The main difference was that she would never be able to do the same about Will because the circumstances owned another kind of shapes, because it had nothing to do with a purely sexual affair.

Stanley had apologized and they had turned the page, closed the chapter little by little. The scars might still be there, she had accepted the facts and put a veil on them because he had been honest at the end. Because their marriage _ as broken as it might have been _ was still his only reference. Her very own affair belonged to a whole different scheme.

If the journey back to the hotel seemed to get lost in a cloud of wonders, as soon as she closed the door of the suite behind her and observed the bed from the other end of the room, reality struck her with an abrupt taste left on her mouth. From the pillows to the sheet _ her clothes abandoned haphazardly on the floor _ everything took the shapes of a peculiar reminiscence that with the passing of time she was more and more uncertain about. Not that she regretted anything _ starting by waking up in his arms _ but life didn't stop to the limits of the room or the softness of his skin on her, it went beyond all that and the most complicated was to connect both worlds no mattered what.

She was sitting in one of the sofas when she noticed the sound of the water running in the bathroom. A bit too quickly perhaps she had assumed that once she had left for the airport with Stanley, Will would have gone back to his own room to change, start a new day in a perfect anonymity to the eyes of their friends. But he hadn't, against all expectations.

It didn't take him long to step out with a bath towel wrapped around his waist; fresh from the shower, a few water drops sliding down his shoulders. She had slept with him, confessed him her feelings. Did it make of him her official lover? She didn't like the word at all unless it was the meaning of it.

She let him sit down by her side on the other end of the sofa then looked how her feet were close to his thighs, the ones she had kissed and caressed all night; the ones she loved.

"Are you alright?"

His question floated in the air for too long, pressing her throat to the point it made her suffocate. Scared, she looked for his eyes then shook her head.

"No. I am not."

But as much as vulnerability took possession of her, the heat of Will's arms suddenly around her resulted enough to reassure her.


	17. Monday Afternoon Second Week

**Monday Afternoon – Second Week**

"The art of lying... Karen is very good at it. Pretending one thing to get the best of everyone. And then she wins, irremediably."

She kept on staring at her cards but felt how her blood turned into ice, freezing in her veins and making her heart beat fast. She didn't believe in coincidences. Everything was written somewhere. The slightest detail happened for a reason, even though sometimes you never found the spring of it and you remained there, a bit lost before your life. Getting rid off poor cards, she silently asked for two more then smiled at the whole table as if the comment hadn't reached her that much; as if it were normal.

"But she learned from the best ones... That helps."

If she had thought once that she didn't fit into any crowd, the day she had married Stanley had made a couple of things extremely clear starting with her belonging to New York high society and she had no other choice that to follow the implicit rules closely. For someone who had always advanced the idea of being unique, she had actually got trapped into a whole different scheme and there she was now, too identical to a thousand other women.

They weren't friends but acquaintances who spent their days trying to get something from their dearest husbands' money when actually they were just bored if not depressed; a bit like her before getting hired by Grace. Being in Manhattan or any other place on the planet didn't change this monotone routine and once again Monday had swept away the men to only leave in Hawaii a few wives who in spite of what they were showing, felt a tad lonely perhaps.

If at some point tea time had been the highlight of their lives, times had changed and brought along a falsely bolder activity: poker. At least they fitted the role, as the professional liars they were.

Vaguely uncomfortable, she cast a glance at Will over her cards. He had sat in front of her, on the other end of the table next to Grace. She envied him his calm before the unfortunate double-meaning of the last comments. Perhaps he didn't mind that much and was rather detached at the end.

"Could we please avoid any allusion to my family, here?"

"You perfectly know whom I am talking about, my dear."

She did. A quick glance to her interlocutor on her left – a woman in her forties married to a politician, friend of Stanley – resulted enough to accept the conversation in a false politically correct tone when it couldn't be a worse moment to mention her ex-husband, the one to whom she had said yes at the age of twenty. Until a heart attack got reason of him without any warning, he had always been known as one of those dreadful poker players who could remain at a table in Las Vegas for hours if not days. He had taught her the tricks but the truth was that the art of lying had always belonged to normality for her and poker had simply turned into a delightful recess moment.

"I still make the difference between a poker game and reality."

"Oh, that we all know. If there is someone at this table who wouldn't even think about hiding the truth from her husband, it has to be you. Not that it is old-fashion or something but let's face it: between you and Stan, there is absolutely no lie."

It was cruel. Because if it had been true at some point, the last few hours had clearly changed it all and dealing with it didn't turn as easy as she had imagined in the first place. She couldn't help looking up at Will on the other end of the table. This time he hadn't missed the remark and as soon as her eyes locked with his, she felt like rushing into his arms. The guilt was tough and heavy, floating upon her shoulders while her recent confession of her sentiments to him made it all blurry, extremely unbalanced. It pushed her to doubt, to feel bad.

"I still persist, Karen. You know, having an affair isn't such a big deal. It might actually be the key of a happy marriage, isn't it?"

The question made the whole table laugh and she preferred to hide her discomfort into a glass of Gin as a wave of heat was rushing up her cheeks. She hated being the timid one whose lack of self-confidence suddenly showed up no mattered her efforts to hide it. Some people felt it and within a second she was at their mercy, in spite of everything.

"I would even say that it is healthy and makes it all a bit spicy."

She didn't win the game. The rest of the day flew away in a ballet of exchanged gazes between Will and her until the moon finally stole the sky from the sun and she found back the quietness of her suite. They hadn't planned anything but secretly enough, she hoped that he would come and spend the night in her arms. One day they would probably need to talk but she wasn't ready. The confusion that had invaded her mind was too strong to come to the slightest conclusion, the slightest idea.

She was staring at her feet _ sat on her bed, palms of her hands down against the mattress _ when she heard the door open and very soon she came to observe the shadow of his figure on the floor. She could not help smiling _ brightly _ as a veil of warmth spread in her body. But it was only when she felt his lips on hers and the strength of his waist between her legs that she knew Will had turned into an odd, desperate addiction.


	18. Tuesday Morning Second Week

**Tuesday Morning – Second Week**

It was more about the way his breath brushed her skin _ making her shiver _ than the moment his lips planted a kiss on her body. The sensation was a warm one, almost protective and yet extremely sensual while all of a sudden she realized that she could live with nothing but it.

"Good morning..."

She let her fingers slide along his cheek before he took away her hoarse voice with a kiss. She liked the way her legs brushed his, how his hands caressed her waist then came to rest on her thighs. And then a gaze _ those brown eyes she had got lost into so many times _ that might have betrayed all these things they didn't dare to say out loud.

"You are suntanned."

He brushed her shoulder blade with his fingertips _ following a path the sun had engraved on her skin _ and laughed softly; planted a kiss there, on the edge of her collar bone. It was odd to be in the arms of a man who took his time and talked; looked at her and cared. The previous ones had lacked delicacy and tenderness but she had grown accustomed to it, sweeping away the frustration of the beginning.

"And believe me, it is the first time."

She felt his smile against her skin, coming to die in a trail of kisses as his lips began to travel down her body. Closing her eyes and passing a hand through his hair in an instinctive attempt to get him closer to her, she concentrated on the touch; from her breasts to her lower stomach. She hadn't closed the French window the day before and now a warm breeze caressed her nape in the heat of the morning.

She still didn't like the tropical weather, even less the proximity of the beach that always brought back sand among the bed sheets; and the salt of the ocean on her back, sticking to her clothes and getting her skin dry. She wasn't made for Hawaii but it was all they owned at the same time.

She found back his mouth through an eager kiss, squeezing his waist with strength; rather boldly. Her smile melted in his as the last inches between their bodies disappeared and all of a sudden she forgot everything; let go of the past, the future and the dark lines of the present time.

Perhaps it was incongruous _ didn't make sense at all _ and if she had been asked she would have not been able to explain the slightest thing but there she was though, shivering and moaning against Will.

…

"Where is your wedding band?"

Her hand in Jack's one, she looked at her friend before staring intently at her naked finger with a deep discomfort. The dark red of the nail varnish he had been applying was contrasting with her pale skin but the sun had nonetheless drawn the circular shape of the missing ring.

"I am getting it readjusted."

"Oh... Okay."

He didn't look convinced at all but for some reason, he didn't insist either and the chapter got closed as he began to work on another nail. Inside herself, she only hoped that he wouldn't notice the blushing on her cheeks, her shaking hands or how her heart had sped up its pace suddenly.

She had abandoned the ring on the beach the night she had confessed her sentiments to Will. Maybe the ocean would have swallowed it through its waves and the jewel was now glimmering in the depths of the Pacific. The truth was _ rather sharply _ that she had completely forgotten about it afterward and it hadn't crossed her mind that it would be better to replace the ring by another one in order to avoid some embarrassing questions like Jack's.

"Karen... Can I ask you something?"

For a few seconds she observed her friend's hesitation, how his eyes didn't dare to lock with hers while the words were burning his lips, asking for nothing but to come out.

"Of course, honey."

She had no choice but to accept it, trapped on this beach in the shadows of a palm tree; trapped in way too many things if she had to be sincere.

"Have you really never cheated on Stanley? I mean... I wouldn't judge you or anything if you had, you know. This happens to a lot of long-term couples, after all. Nor would I say it to anyone else..."

"Why are you asking me that now?"

She didn't want to sound offended or angry but the result of her desperate control over her voice was a bit fragile and seemed like to be somewhere in between. It made her blush and against all expectations brought tears to her eyes as well but years of experience allowed her to swallow them back right away. It wouldn't have made sense if she had burst into cries on this beach; burst into cries at all, actually.

"It is the way Stanley and you behave... You seem to have been distant with each other lately. But not as if you had argued or something. It goes beyond that. I can't explain it."

"Is this because I am not wearing my wedding band?"

"No. No, it isn't."

The firmness of his negation took her aback and she didn't know what to say. The air had suddenly got impossible and she was breathing loud; on the verge of suffocation. The sun was too hot as well and her life unbearable, just like the rest.

Trying to calm the angry pain that made her lips shake, she looked aside and remained quiet. For most of her life she had been told about success and how necessary it was if she didn't want to disappear in nothingness like the rest of the crowd. And she had become someone, marrying the right people at the right time.

But she was ruining it all now for listening to her heart.

"I have to go."

Unaware of the fact only three nails on ten had been painted in red, she grabbed her bag and headed back to the hotel.


	19. Tuesday Evening Second Week

**Tuesday Evening – Second Week**

She had insisted to go out. Because the atmosphere of the hotel had been weighing on her, because the situation had become suffocating. She just hadn't imagined that they would end up at the same salsa bar she had gone to with Will the week before during the night that had set it all off.

"I am not that much into salsa."

A hand on her beer, she looked at Grace settle further on her seat – obviously not feeling at ease with the place. If she had had to be honest, being there again brought along mixed feelings as well. She had loved dancing that night and forgetting all the rest for a while but what had followed still owned a bitter shade in her mind. No mattered what would happen with Will in the future, she would never remember their first time and she didn't like that.

"Honey, it isn't salsa but _bachata. _It comes from The Dominican Republic and..."

She abandoned her explanation halfway as Grace stood up and headed to the bar for another drink, very soon followed by Jack who had found a new interest into the twenty-year-old bartender. It was odd and yet ironical enough to see how easy it was for her to find herself alone with Will when not even asking for it in the first place. She missed him. They might have spent the day together but she cruelly missed his hands on her, the warmth of his lips and the softness of his skin. She would have given anything for a kiss, just one; in public. Not that she cared about keeping the rest for an intimate place _ after all this was what happened in any relationship _ but she wished they had been free to hold hands, exchange a few gazes without fearing any conflict.

"May I have this dance?"

If a lot of things had vanished into the depths of some blurry memories, she hadn't forgotten the eyes of the man she had danced with that night, in the heat of the bar – under the multicolored lights. There he was again, standing in front of her with his hand tended towards hers. She smiled, bit her lower lip and shook her head.

"Not tonight."

The stranger shrugged and went away, leaving her alone with Will. For a few seconds she stayed still _ observing the dancers in front of them _ until her fingers brushed his and she pressed his hand tightly. The gesture couldn't have passed more unnoticed. Under the table, in the darkness of the bar. Though she couldn't help blushing.

As the song came to an end under the applause of the dancers, the first notes of the next one made her freeze. It seemed that the veil that had covered her memories was slowly fading away and images of the night were rushing back to her mind. They had danced on this _bachata_. Actually, it was even their very first one.

Without thinking about it twice, she stood up and led him to the tiny dance floor among the crowd. She didn't care if Jack or Grace would observe them from the bar. It was a need, a vital one. She had to be in his arms.

Her knee brushing his inner thigh, she settled there against his chest and followed the movements of his waist. It was a sensual dance, the one that asked you to drop out your inhibitions in order to live it at the most and perhaps even understand something more like the chemistry that could appear from the steps. As his hand traveled from her lower back to her thigh suggestively, she locked her eyes with his in a gesture of defiance. The cotton of her black dress lost a few inches on her legs _ revealing her hip a lot more _ but the warm breeze she felt on it only managed to send a shiver down her spine and with a sudden boldness, she came closer to him; her own hand on his buttocks.

His fingertips brushed her arm _ putting back up the strap of her dress that had slid off _ and she could not help but swallowing hard under the delicate touch, abandoning his hand to put her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Kare..."

She responded to his whisper against her ear by a kiss on his nape then closed her eyes to rest there.

If she hadn't been so focused on the way her body molded his in the heat of the night, perhaps the lyrics of the song would have hit her mind and she would have stopped dancing then looked around for some explanation to what sounded like an odd irony. Perhaps she would have noticed then how the story was about a boy claiming his love for some girl but that all in all, was only pure obsession.

The last notes swept away her daydream against his shoulder and as she opened her eyes back, took her distance with him, she saw Grace appear by their side.

"I am tired, Jack too. We are going back to the hotel. Obviously you two are having fun here so enjoy and we will see you tomorrow."

Grace's comment took them aback but before they had a chance to reply, their friends were gone. Being left alone, they slowly started dancing again until their eyes met and they let go of everything, sharing finally a long awaited kiss.

They stayed until the first hours of the morning then hailed a cab, hand in hand. There was something light about it, some sort of natural feeling that came along; as if it were pure logic. As if it were meant to be. Sat on the backseats of the car, they remained silent and observed the lights of Honolulu by night still carried on by the music, the dance.

His hand on her inner thigh _ his fingers caressing her skin there suggestively enough _ she focused on the street signs and welcomed with a quiet relief the hotel as it appeared in the night.

The moment he closed the door of her suite, she rushed to his lips with a barely contained lust; taking off the shirt she had mischievously played with all along the evening. The series of _bachata _could not have been more arousing and there she was now, desperately wanting him.

They never reached the bed. For some reason their steps led them to the terrace and they crashed on the large sofa there. The breeze was caressing their skin with delicacy, contrasting thus with the fury of their gestures; their short, deep kisses. They hadn't drunk too much this time and were fully conscious of every single motion of their bodies; like the way she ended up straddling him, looking into his eyes as he got rid of her dress and unhooked her bra. Her tongue wandered through his lower stomach until she unzipped his pants and undressed him properly.

There was something rough in their acts, as if at the same time they were releasing some accumulated frustration and the almost politically correct intimate moments they had spent together until now were fade compared to what was happening then. And the truth was that if he hadn't been aroused yet, she would have gone further _ a lot bolder even though some people probably assumed that she used to do it more often _ but instead she simply went back for his mouth, letting her fingers simply brush his shaft.

The waves were crashing below, the breeze embracing her waist as she arched her back under their thrusts. She liked the way his hands caressed her thighs _ her breasts _ and how their eye-contact seemed to create an even more intense degree of closeness.

Feeling a boiling sensation grow in her lower stomach, she sped up the pace of their thrusts and leaned her head backwards – looking instinctively for a better angle. She closed her eyes, swallowed hard then gasped as a warm shiver passed through her body under the pale moonlight.

A few seconds later she found back his lips, breathless, and planted a long kiss there before rolling on her side still holding him tight.

"I love you..."

Her words vanished in the depths of his shoulder as she settled there only to observe the way his hand was caressing hers on his chest. It couldn't have been more perfect.


	20. Wednesday Morning Second Week

**Wednesday Morning – Second Week**

She had put a large straw hat on but the sun nonetheless managed to pierce through it, warming up her nape softly as they wandered through the different stalls. The place was crowded _ and noisy _ but she loved how the smell of spices got mixed to the fragrance of fresh, exotic fruits; how the conversations going around got punctuated by the laughter of children while a local band played some music a couple of feet further. It was a mess, but a bewitching one where people were smiling under a big blue sky, as if all of a sudden life had no hold over them and they succumbed to a genuine happiness.

His hand slid on her lower back as she was observing with attention a silver bracelet on a stall close to the end of the outdoor market. The beach was only a few feet behind but the wind had carried on sand to the ground and she could feel it against her feet; a sensation she had grown accustomed to during the previous week and that she would miss for a while when back to Manhattan.

"Oh you should get this one instead, miss. I know that it isn't silver but the symbol will suit the two of you... We call it the "lover bracelet". The leather symbolizes the strength of feelings. The day it breaks then it is time to turn the page."

She had never paid that much attention to what looked more like urban legends than anything else but quietly enough, she looked at Will take one of the bracelets then slide it on her wrist. It reminded her of those cheap jewels surfers owned; a bit ethnic. And suddenly tightened around her bone, she surprised herself liking it. It matched better Will's suntanned skin but the result was nonetheless pleasant enough on her so she decided to take it; embracing the woman's words without protesting.

The leather of their respective bracelets brushing each other, they headed hand in hand towards another section of the market. She couldn't help but smile thinking over and over how the woman had assumed that they were together; as if it couldn't be more simple, more evident and fair. A mere tender sign and people came to conclusion she didn't even dare to think about. She wished she had been them, wished it had been that easy and all of a sudden her whole life could gravitate around Will, and nobody else.

She had woken up in his arms a few hours earlier, on the terrace of her suite; their clothes scattered on the floor all around. A blanket was barely covering her shoulders but the sun being already high in the sky, she hadn't minded that much. Rocked by the waves below, they had remained there for a while; in silence. There was nothing to be said, nothing to be discussed. It was just one of those moments when feelings got more importance than the words; some unforgettable seconds that you stole away from the passing of time to lock into your heart.

Grace and Jack had declined their suggestion to visit a local market and preferred to stay at the hotel to take the most of the beach and the sun, leaving them alone together one more time. Happy coincidence, perhaps, though the truth was that none of them had really tried to analyze the situation and they had left almost immediately instead. It was just strange to see how reality seemed to go in favor of what the main lines of their lives made impossible at the end. As if it were fate...

A dozen of prawns in hand, they finally left the market behind and stepped down to the beach for some improvised lunch. They settled under a palm tree, a bit further from the groups of friends and families that had arrived earlier to enjoy a sunny day on the beach of Waikiki.

People who knew her would have said that her sudden behavior was completely unexpected, that it did not look like her at all and it was true. She would have never been seen eating fresh food with her fingers and drinking white wine from the bottle on a beach _ sat right on the sand _ next to a man who wasn't Stanley. As a matter of fact, she was surprised herself but it sounded right, logical.

"I lied to you."

He had said that without the single transition but the seriousness enveloping his voice had contrasted sharply with the lightness of their previous exchanged words and she felt how her laughter vanished in the most anxious way. Not finding the courage nor the strength to rhetorically ask him to repeat his last remark, she let him speak out.

He didn't look nervous, just uncomfortable; and shy. Perhaps it should have reassured her but her heart was beating too fast so that she could notice the lack of self-confidence in his eyes.

"When you asked me last week about love at first sight. You know, during the first meal we had here... You threw it in the middle of the conversation as if there couldn't be any more genuine question and I wasn't ready for that. Actually I thought I would never be and I would just keep it inside among all the other secrets that get accumulated through the years. I... If only I had known... Then I would not have wasted my time for so long."

She let him take a sip of wine while all of a sudden the noises around seemed to have vanished and she had been left alone on the beach with him; locked in a world where nobody could reach them.

"It was snowing. The first time I met you it was snowing and you were wearing a black dress, pearls on your neck. Grace introduced you to me, you smiled and... There it happened. Within a second. Though the truth is that it took me years to understand it. It had nothing to do with a fling or some mysterious attraction. No... It was love at first sight and now I dare to say it out loud."

It is when he took her hand in his that she realized he was shaking as well, probably torn between the confession he was making and the weight of it on all the rest. Not that it was just unexpected but also because it didn't match with their existences.

"I don't know why; I can't explain it. I have tried so many times to find an excuse or just something that would keep me far from you because it shouldn't be but... Now we are here and I can't but tell it to you, because I need to. I love you, Karen... I love you. I have always loved you."


	21. Wednesday Afternoon Second Week

**Wednesday Afternoon – Second Week**

As her back made contact _ rather abruptly _ with the rocks, her smile vanished and she looked at him with an odd self-confidence; mischievousness flirting with uncertainty. Water drops were falling on his face, coming to die in the depths of his jaw. She could feel his own heartbeats against her chest and his hand on her wrist, holding it firmly. She let him capture her lips, let his tongue brush hers before most of the world vanished from her mind and she succumbed to him. She was trapped between his arms, as if nothing mattered anymore. She could hear people in the background – life going on – that it wouldn't change her decisions to remain there against him. She was his, if only for a few seconds.

Perhaps she shouldn't have brushed his thigh with her knee – shouldn't have let her hand travel down to his lower back – because he immediately broke apart and as if surprised, stepped out of the pool quietly leaving her there, a bit lonely and lost. Nobody could have seen them behind the false cascade. It was a terrible, bitter trick that kept them away from people's gaze and it worked. It worked too well.

He had opened his heart to her a few hours earlier and she had remained quiet, unable to reply properly. Trying to overcome the whirl of feelings his words had set off, she had simply kissed him then changed the direction of the conversation with the awkwardness of the novices. She hadn't been touched by his confession but troubled, a veil of timidity spreading over her mind. It had never happened to her before and she had no idea how to deal with it. Her silence had probably been harsh but he hadn't complained, hadn't said anything back. And she felt sad now; ashamed and embarrassed.

"I love you..."

A water drop slid on her lips as she stepped out of the swimming-pool and whispered the words in his back; staring intently at his nape. She wished she had had the courage to throw herself in his arms and send the whole world to hell but she was too coward for that. That's why the mere statement she dared to come up with remained in the sphere of inaudible words, under her blushing cheeks.

She looked how he stopped and turned around before heading back to her with a self-confidence that an ounce of jealousy made her heart beat faster. Was it because he wasn't married that he dared such things without caring about the rest? Yet there was Grace. And Jack... Where did he find the courage?

"I want you to get a divorce from Stanley. I want you to move with me when back to New York City. I want you to hold my hand in public; and eventually kiss me if you feel like to. Let's have it all together. What do you think?"

She heard herself laughing – lightly enough – before reality settled back and the heaviness of evidence took her away from some utopias. She wished it had been that easy; a snap of her fingers settling down everything. His brown eyes brought along a determination that the seconds passing by only emphasized in a dreadful motion. This is when she began to swallow hard, succumbing to her fears.

"But..."

"And we will have a dog, or a cat... And we will be happy for the rest of our lives. You and I... Just our family because it can be as simple as that."

This is when all froze and she remained there – a bit lost – while the beats of her heart were pounding in her chest. She had almost dropped it out after all these decades, as if it had only been some crazy and ridiculous whim from her brain that would have no chance to make it to reality. Nobody had expressed the desire to get it with her, at absolutely no point. And there he had come up with it, all of a sudden.

Children. A family. Perhaps it went too fast, actually.

"Mrs. Karen Walker is asked to the reception desk immediately. I repeat, Mrs. Karen Walker is asked to the reception desk immediately."

Her name resounding loud in the speakers of the hotel made her jump and she suddenly abandoned any chance to reply to him. Perhaps in other circumstances it would have worked out and they would have become something. Perhaps she would have even agreed on building a family. But there they were with some bad timing. She looked down at her feet, in a coward way of so-called apologies.

She wasn't ready for this. She needed time to assume whatever they had.

"You should go now. They are waiting for you..."

"Will you..."

"Of course. After dinner, as usual."

Completely taken aback, she turned around and wrapped in a bath towel headed to the reception of the five-star hotel only to face Grace holding a small box impatiently.

"Hey, Karen... Look what we found out! You should have told me that you had lost it."

As much as employees of the hotel had cleaned it, she didn't see any shining in her wedding band, just the weight of regrets and the shades of a failed existence; bad choices. Silently enough, she thanked her friend and was about to retreat to her suite when Jack appeared by her side.

How come such a bad timing seemed all of a sudden to stick to her like that?

"What is happening here?"

"We found back Karen's wedding ring. She had lost it on the beach."

Without daring to face Jack's incomprehension and the weight of his pain before the lie she had said a couple of days earlier to him, she turned around and left for her suite; holding tight the platinum band. She didn't go to the restaurant that evening and remained sat on her bed instead, staring intently at the ring. It seemed so fade, too artificial.

Besides all the things it meant... Heavy symbols she wished had never existed.

With a shaking hand, she grabbed it and was about to slide it back on her finger – drawing a line under Will – when she heard the door of the suite get open. Putting the jewel back on the table immediately, she looked up and smiled brightly as he made it in front of her then knelt down to lock his eyes into her hazel ones.

"I shouldn't have said all these things. Not yet... I am sorry."

His apologies melted in their kiss as she captured his lips and pulled him closer to her own body. She needed him, desperately.

"I love you, Will."


	22. Thursday Morning Second Week

**Thursday Morning – Second Week**

They had left the last buildings of Honolulu behind for the coastline road where the height of the cliffs only contrasted with the immensity of the ocean spread a few feet below. The view was breathtaking but before some passengers' exhilaration, she remained impassive; her head leaned against the window of the little bus. Perhaps she should have canceled _ found an excuse to not take part in the excursion _ and she would have spent the day alone at the hotel looking for a way to approach Jack, to tell him why she had lied about her wedding band. At least she wouldn't have been sitting awkwardly next to him for the next hour in the most complete and heavy silence.

From time to time she cast a glance at Will a few seats ahead. She could only picture out the top of his head but the atmosphere between him and Grace seemed a lot warmer than her very own one next to a quiet, hurt Jack. They had argued in the past but what scared her the most right now was the absence of lightness in their behaviors. For the very first time none of them had decided to overplay it as if it were impossible for being too serious, too tough.

"I won't judge you if you tell me that you are seeing someone. You are one of my best friends, Karen... I don't understand why you remain quiet when obviously something is going on _ something that is not easy _ and you are suffering from it. Perhaps if you told me then I would be able to help you."

The bus passed the wooden sign indicating their imminent arrival to Hanauma Bay and while most of the passengers were retrieving for their belongings, she slowly looked at her lap then dared a gaze _ a timid one _ at Jack. He wasn't angry or didn't seem to but pain had covered his eyes of a bitter veil and pushed by the irrepressible feeling to make the peace, there he was pleading her implicitly to be sincere with him.

She wished she had been able to, wished she could have swept away all these precepts yet without her whole life _ their friendship _ coming to an end. But it was just impossible, some sort of dead-end path she didn't want to find herself trapped in. That's why she frowned, shook her head to him.

"I can't... I am sorry but I can't."

The evasive shades of her reply nonetheless sounded honest and it must have been why he didn't try to go further, didn't storm out either but simply _ and unexpectedly enough _ took her in his arms while the bus had finally stopped, the first passengers already stepping off.

A strong wind that had nothing to do with the warm breeze they had experienced until now embraced her nape as they finally joined Will and Grace on the ground, a few feet away from the bus. They had the whole day to visit and enjoy the bay that offered one of the most beautiful panoramas of the island. As the other tourists were already heading in different directions, she stared at the ocean from the top of the hill where the parking lots were and scanned the sky. Gray, heavy clouds seemed to have swept away the blueness of the previous days and even though the temperatures were still high, a sensation of hostility pierced through the sudden change of color shades. Hanauma nature preserve didn't look that welcoming at the end.

…

As his lips planted a kiss on her temple, she couldn't help but smile. It was odd how such simple touch had the capacity to stir up a whole wave of feelings, the brightness of a genuine smile on her lips. Her hand holding a strand of hair that was flying in front of her eyes _ pushed by the wind _ she looked up at him and made some room as he settled by her side on the beach.

They had spent a nice, relaxing day in Hanauma Bay, far from the gates of the hotel resort and its stuffy atmosphere. They had walked through the parks overlooking the Pacific, had shared a lunch in a small restaurant by the main beach and there they were now, waiting for the last minute to go back to the bus that would take them to Honolulu.

"Where are they?"

A quick look around confirmed Jack and Grace's absence. Only a family had settled on the beach a few feet further, closer to the ocean. The place looked immense, suddenly.

"Buying postcards by the parking lot..."

As a response to the implicit freedom of gestures his words had brought along, she leaned her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes. She hadn't had a chance to spend a single minute alone with him since the morning, hadn't had a chance to brush his fingers if only in all subtlety.

"Are you alright?"

Keeping her eyes closed, she nodded and smiled then planted a kiss on his shoulder blade. As the days were passing by, she was getting addicted to his scent, the way his heart pounded against his chest, his figure body and the light tone of voice he had in the morning. The shades were different by then, before reality imposed back its veil of dark priorities.

"I have missed you..."

All of a sudden she felt a large water drop land on her hand, a very cold one. Looking up instinctively at the sky, she frowned and stood up as the rain began to pour heavily. Hand in hand they hurried to the parking lot, stepped into the bus and she sat by Jack's side quietly enough, trying to ignore how her red cashmere cardigan was now sticking to her arms for it being soaked wet.

The last passengers arrived and it is when the situation turned upside down, just like that; without any warning. The manager responsible of the tour asked for attention and clearing his voice, he imposed a whole different plan.

"Due to a tropical storm approaching, the roads to Honolulu have been closed – for everyone's safety. I am afraid we won't be able to make it back to the hotel tonight as it was planned. Instead, you will be welcomed into bungalows near the beach to spend the night over and if the weather allows it, we will leave tomorrow morning after breakfast. Please accept our apologies for the last-minute change of plan and we hope that you will enjoy your stay on the bay tonight."


	23. Thursday Evening Second Week

**Thursday Evening – Second Week**

The rain was hitting hard against the windows now, the wind embracing the trees in an odd rhythm that the darkness of the night emphasized with an intimidating strength. Sat on the edge of the bed, she did not dare to say a word and only stared at the floor intently; wondering why they had ended up there in the first place, why all of a sudden she missed the safety that the five-star hotel represented. She might have felt trapped there but at least the resort had the credits to define the limits very well.

Coming from nowhere, the ringing of a cell phone made her jump of surprise. The melody seemed to bring some sort of life to the empty bungalow but without any warning it almost sounded intrusive.

"Can you check the message, please? It must be Grace, asking me whether I prefer chicken or fish for dinner."

She nodded to him even though he couldn't see her _ for being in the bathroom having a shower _ and grabbed his phone abandoned on the mattress. Jack and Grace had left a few minutes before to pick up their dinner at the restaurant of the hotel, the delivery room service being nonexistent there.

If she had had to remember something from this moment, it would have been the self-confidence with which she had pressed the keys to open the message and how within a second everything had crashed in a thousand pieces; starting with her heart.

_I made the reservation for Monday_

_Looking forward to seeing you_

_Michael_

It didn't even cross her mind that Grace's name would have appeared on the screen instead of a number that hadn't been saved in Will's contacts if it had been her. It didn't even cross her mind that it could have been someone else who would make it all tip over, like Michael.

"So what is she saying?"

As a matter of fact, she had almost forgotten about Will's presence a few feet away from her behind the door left open ajar from which the scent of gel shower escaped by waves; coming to her head. Taken aback, she looked up but didn't say a word; only felt how anger began to boil in her lower stomach then reached her lips, her eyes. She clenched her fists, stood up and was about to confront him with the text when for some reason her steps led her out of the bedroom. Before she knew it, she had thrown the cell phone away _ the item crashing loudly against a wall _ and pushed Grace aside while making her way to the front door of the bungalow.

"Hey!"

She didn't hear her friend nor Will rushing out of the bedroom _ alerted by the crash of the phone and picking it up to check it then find a reason to her sudden, unexpected behavior. The wind and the rain had already wrapped up in another world in which her anger seemed to have the leading role, pushing her heart to beat fast in her chest. The wet sand stuck to her feet _ in her escape she hadn't thought about putting shoes on _ while the rain drops were passing underneath the thin cotton of her white dress, sliding along her bare arms in a cold embrace.

This is when she noticed it, on her wrist; the brown leather contrasting with the fairness of her skin. It didn't make sense anymore and on the contrary, weighed too much to be kept. With a brisk gesture she tore the bracelet off and threw it away to her feet. But she stopped walking and stared instead at the broken jewel abandoned on the beach. She couldn't do that... Bending over, she picked it up but froze as a hand grabbed her elbow to make her turn around.

"Karen..."

The palm of her hand landing on his cheek resounded loudly in the night, in spite of the storm and the strong wind going around. She hadn't meant to slap him. It had come up by itself, maybe the frustration she had accumulated and a couple of things she shouldn't have kept for herself.

"Why were you repeating over and over that you loved me if it were to find him back once in the city? Am I just some sort of... Some sort of pass-time that keeps you entertained when not being able to get more? Damn I am married, Will. Do you even realize what it means? Do you even realize how hard it is for me to go through this? There are a million reasons that could push me to put an end to it and yet I can't because... Because you are way too important to me. I love you. I told you that I did. This is not something I say that easily. Actually I am barely able to say it and... And here you come with Michael... Am I just a game to you? If so then you... You..."

"I love you! Michael is... I accepted this lunch with him only to tell him that I didn't want anything with him anymore. Because you are the person I need, the only one, and considering the past I had with him I couldn't say all of this through a mere phone call. It wouldn't have been fair. But I swear that I have never wanted _ at absolutely no moment _ to go back to him... I have no idea why this is happening and why it has to be you, and me. I am lost _ and confused _ maybe scared actually but... I don't mind about the rest if I can be with you. I can't explain it. This is the way I feel, about you. I don't have that much of a hold over it."

Perhaps she was too tired unless it was the rain and the way it hadn't left a single inch of her dress dry, the fabric sticking now to her body like a second skin; leaving an uneasy sensation as soon as she dared a move, the slightest one actually. It might have been a whole _ an ensemble of things _ that led her to plunge her eyes in his only to find the bitter shades of pain and honesty. She couldn't but trust him, trust his words and his implicit apologies for everything.

This is why she let him do when he passed his hand on her neck and bent over, brushing her lips with his before planting a soft _ almost timid _ kiss on them. She could feel the cold rain drops mixed to the salty tears she couldn't swallow back get lost between their lips, vanishing on their tongues in the depth of their kiss.

As she broke apart and threw herself in his arms _ planting a last kiss on his neck _ she shivered under the cold wind that had now wrapped up her frame intensely, mixed to the rain that hadn't stopped; drops running down her spine icily.

But as she suddenly looked up and observed the porch of the bungalow _ her eyes locking with two other pairs _ her shivers melted into some uncontrollable shaking. Leaned on the door frame _ astonished and speechless _ Grace and Jack were observing the scene; only a few feet away from her, from Will.


	24. Thursday Night Friday Evening Epilogue

**Thursday Night – Second Week**

She approached a hand from the dress but jumped of surprised _ her fingers brushing the white cotton _ as Grace's voice resounded in her back.

"I hung it up. It should be dry by tomorrow. I brewed some tea, here is a mug. Take it."

Turning around to face her friend, she accepted the hot beverage in silence but didn't take a sip. Palms against the porcelain mug, the heat seemed to spread to her whole body wrapping her up in a sensation of quietness she obviously needed.

As they had made it back to the bungalow hand in hand under the rain _ before their friends' astonished eyes _ nothing had followed the slightest ounce of logic. The door had been closed and she had found herself pushed by Grace towards the bathroom, receiving the advice to have a shower in order to avoid getting sick. She had obeyed, quietly and shamefully enough if not just embarrassed. And there she was now, facing her friend in one of the bedrooms of the small bungalow.

"Do you need help?"

Following Grace's hand pointed towards her tangled hair, she shrugged then nodded timidly. She didn't know what to say, where to start. They couldn't pretend that nothing had happened because it was too big for a mere detail; too big for their friendship.

Sitting down on the bed, she stared at the wall in front of her; held her breath instinctively, ridiculously enough perhaps as Grace began to comb her hair in her back. From all the scenarios she had elaborated in her mind, the quietness her friend was using now had never made it to the point of turning into some sort of possibility and she couldn't help waiting anxiously for the moment she would be hit by screams, reproaches and anger.

"Why don't you look at me? Are you scared? Ashamed..."

The words had slid on Grace's lips with an odd sweetness, perhaps darkened by an ounce of regrets and pain. But it didn't own the shades of cold anger nor frustration. Unexpectedly.

"No... I just wish a lot of things had been different, from the very beginning."

Grace's fingers brushing her nape sent a shiver down her spine but she kept on staring intently at the wall because it was easier than turning around, throwing herself in her friend's arms and sobbing some mumbled apologies. This would never happen. She was unable to do that.

"I should have guessed. As a matter of fact, I think I have always known that something like that would happen but it is easier to ignore the truth when it doesn't... When it doesn't turn the way you wanted to. Too many evidence... I hate being blind like that."

"We..."

"I don't want to know the whole story; not now. Perhaps one day but in the meantime I prefer to ignore it. I am sorry but this is the best I can come up with for the moment. Though... I want you to promise me something. Ironically enough I am sure that Jack is telling Will the exact same thing about you right now and he is right... You know how much Will means to me so please, take care of him. I don't ask for anything else. I just want you not to hurt him; whatever happens, whatever you two are supposed to be. Be nice to Will."

…

**Epilogue**

**Friday Evening – Second Week**

The planes were coming and going on the tarmac but sat on a leather seat of the terminal _ in front of the large windows _ her eyes remained fixed on the sun; the pale, multicolored shades she had learned to love. The ocean was probably somewhere behind the buildings, not that far but now she could only try to picture out the last colors of the day getting reflected on the water, the waves sweeping it away with a singular quietness.

She would miss the hotel, the beach and the way the sun caressed her face in the morning. Folded on her lap, the weight of her winter coat seemed to spread a veil of bitterness over the imminent return to New York and all of a sudden she realized that she didn't want to leave. She might have missed the city but it wouldn't be the same anymore. She would lack references. She hated it.

"They say it is snowing on The East Coast."

Under Jack's comment her eyes abandoned the contemplation of the sun to land on her lap instead. She nodded in silence, concentrating on the pain that was pressing on her throat. She wouldn't cry. She did not cry in public. She wasn't allowed to.

"Are you alright, Karen?"

She looked up to the sound of his voice, locked her eyes with his brown ones as he sat down next to her, Grace following a packet of chips in hand.

They would land in New York and something would happen, a major change in her life. She wouldn't go to The Upper East Mansion, only stop for a while _ pack _ then go back to Will and from there they would see where it could lead. She didn't want to hold hopes, didn't want to allow herself to have some dreams just in case they would never make it to reality and she would find herself with a broken heart again. But yet the lack of perspectives and things to clutch to was scaring; immensely unsure.

Then she felt it slide on her wrist, like a meaningful sign; carrying hopes along. The leather seemed to have darkened under the rain, some grains of sand sticking to it like in an odd fusion of two different bodies. It wasn't as smooth as it used to be, looked worn-out as if it had gone through a lot. And the big knot that now connected the two pieces she had once broken down on the beach owned the shapes of an old scar.

The bracelet wasn't perfect anymore _ carrying along the weight of memories _ but it was nonetheless there to symbolize her relationship with Will. Seven days a week; she would never take it off, not even for a mere second. And as long as it would remain there embracing her wrist, she knew that she could rely on their story.

She bent over, planted a soft kiss on his lips, smiled.

"I am."


End file.
